Guaranteed

I've had anger on my mind these days because um, it seems as if it is everywhere.

Every. Where.

Not the 'grrrrr ! you make me so !' sentiment.
That's mad
& mad is temporary.

I'm talking anger, anger.
The brew it, stew it, hovers like a storm cloud, anger.
The anger that moves in and hunkers down for days.
Or longer.

If you really think about it and I've really been thinking about it, anger is such a powerfully ugly emotion.

It's an anchor.

A rusty, dusty, dark and dismal anchor !!

&

like an anchor, anger is pretty darn experienced at holding on tight.

Anger won't let go.
It can't let go.
It's a stubborn grip that can embed for years.

YEARS.

& yet, once released, IF released,
anger will suddenly, magically disappear.
It evaporates.
Just like that.

Poof.
Gone. 

Talk about Powerful.

Powerfully easy.
Powerfully uplifting.
Powerfully wonderful.

!! & !! 

A happy heart will always follow.

Guaranteed.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Jerry

I'm not one to go to funerals.
I'll send a card, a condolence or I'll call and express my emotions but, when it comes to attending ?
I don't
& I know I should !
& there are times when I have no choice and I MUST but, truth be told ?
I'd just rather stay away

& then there's my father.
I swear, the man is a SAINT.
He not only goes, he serves at funerals too.
Dad has become the top, go-to guy when the priest needs an alter attendant.
He is always ready, always willing to help

& he has this friend, Jerry.

Jerry worked with Dad back in the day and they have kept in touch throughout the years
& for awhile, Jerry was the organizer of lunches, where he'd corral the Mold Foundry boys to enjoy reminiscing, coffee and good food.
But, little by little, that group of cronies dwindled down to not many showing up anymore, so they halted the gatherings
& somewhere in this process Jerry became the caller guy.
Sometimes Jerry would phone Dad just to chat and catch up on things but occasionally, he'd quietly relate the death of a pal
& together, Dad and Jerry would go to the wake, the funeral, continually doing what needed to be done.

I cannot tell you how many times I've heard the words, 'Jerry called'  as my father would ask if I remembered so and so from all those steel mill stories and long ago events
& only a few months ago, as Dad and I just happened to be walking our trail walk together, lo and behold !! there was Jerry !
& of course we stopped to chat
& as I politely left those men to continue their long conversation because I had other places to be, I thought "FRIENDS !!"

Friends.

So life continued and Jerry would contact, as this group of buddies slowly declined.

Then two days ago, Dad called me.
Jerry's name was in the newspaper obituaries that morning
& that just makes my heart so very sad.

Why am I telling you all this ?
Because this life we live is So. Incredibly. Precious.
& here we are, fuming and fussing and fighting and spending our priceless moments angry.
Infinitely angry.
When, when ?? will we wake up and realize ?!!?

Oh, Jerry.
I know it was your time and we will all, one day, walk that same glorious path to our 'next' but, dang guy, Dad and I are sure going to miss those phone calls.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

Dear America

The Chicago Bears won their first game of the season yesterday and that means I should be Pretty. Darn. Happy. right about now 
but, truth be told ?
I'm not.
No, this morning I'm feeling an unusual, hangover-ish, gloom.
I am sad, America.
For YOU.
For Us.

Seems we are forever taking sides these days, continually setting up camps
& mad,
we are ALWAYS mad.
About this.
About that
& don't forget this and that and that and this too !!
 
Oh, we will take a unified break every once in awhile, on your birthday or Christmas or every time disaster strikes but, most days, America ? it seems our very core is anger
& I really can't figure out WHY ??
& HOW can we alllll be right and alllll be wrong if WE refuse to find that simple, common ground ?

& those talking heads !!
that infinite noise machine insists on reminding me each and every day to watch my moves
& be forever afraid.
You see THAT GUY over there ?
Yeah. Don't you dare trust him cause he's BAD
& that gal ?
Better not trust HER because she looks sketchy and different
and and and and and

It makes my head spin
& it hurts my heart, America
Because YOU deserve better,
so much better

& yes,
you do offer us that awesome opportunity to express our unique points of view
& we can pretty much say and do whatever we choose but, when and where did we become so self righteous, divided, condescending and ugly ?

Oh America.
I'm so sorry we've hurt you.
But, you have my heartfelt promise, from this day on, I will do my part.

I will represent and respect.
I will spread your love and graciousness, your kindness and understanding.
I will BE what you intended
& I will try.
You have my word that I will TRY.

Thank you for your patience with we, YOUR people, America.
Please don't give up on us as we all truly do love you so.

Sincerely,

Me

p.s.
Bears. Baby.

:)

I Am My Feelings

.
  

Be My Guest

So, here you go.

smiledott@yahoo.com

Email me.
Whenever.
Whatever.
& I will pass your words on with the hope of building a kinder, gentler, we are all in this together, connection.

YaY.

I look very forward to meeting your perspective.

--------------------


"My Perspective"
written by C.T.


One nation under God ... with liberty and justice for all.

These words were true even before they were written for all to abide by.  I feel this is for the entire human race.
Kindness, love, respect, tolerance should be a way of life.
Treat others as you want to be treated.
Do the right thing.
If we all tried every day, what a wonderful world this would be.

--------------------

My blog space is YOUR blog space.

#keepdoing
#perspective

:)

Ahhhhh, Appreciate

It seemed like it had been awhile, so I double checked my calendar to confirm
& yep
'twas the end of July since I've encountered a whole, entire weekend, a Saturday AND a Sunday with nothing on the Must Do List.

! Nothing !

I don't have to be here or do that
fix or take or bake
gather or meet
check on or make sure

I am looking at two solid days of hmmmmm, what to do ? what to do ?

Not that I mind doing.
I'd rather, actually.
But, it's good to hit those brakes every so often
& stop.
Just stop.

So, hey !
Maybe I'll lock myself away and spend the hours writing
or maybe I'll get back to the shredding and purging of all that clutter and stuff
maybe I'll catch up on some reading
or reunite with my beloved walking trail
or call my sister and chat the day away
or sit on my veranda and think about things
or binge watch a show on Netflix

or or or or or

There's so many things I don't have to do !

hmmmmm

I do believe I will welcome this weekend as it slow and steadily comes along and
ahhhhh
appreciate.

Here's to !! cheers to !! the gift of today !!

:)

I Am My Feelings

Falling

Harvest. Autumn. Fall.
 
However you choose to label this time of year, it is here
&
I LOVE IT.

Especially now.
The right before. 
When the leaves are ever so slowly and casually beginning their magnificent change.
Just knowing the spectacular burst of color that awaits is ...
Ohmygosh.

! ! ! HAPPY ! ! !

Maybe it's because somewhere down the road I've become a crazy timber nut.
Maybe it's because I'm older.
Maybe it's because I'm not as busy as when I was raising / watching kids.
Maybe I just woke up.
I don't know what the heck it is ...but man oh man ... it is
& I just can't get enough.

Those beautiful, fantastic trees.
Those tints, hues and shades.
Those awesomely stunning sunrises
AND
Those sunsets that are beyond words.

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
yep
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Enjoy every moment of the season known as Fall, my friends
It is here.
It is now
&
It is absolutely GORGEOUS.

:)

I Am My Feelings

I Did It

I'm not really sure why or where it began but, when it comes to this

yikes
&
I do mean YIKES.

I feel as if that bridge and that train are going to pick THAT PRECISE moment in time to come tumbling down upon my head
& if there just happens to be a traffic jam and I am stopped right smack dab, directly under ?
whoa
yep
You are looking at what has become my very worst fear.

er
um
well
creepy, hairy, spiders ??
You just stay away from me too, ok ??
ok.

Anyways,
I tell the peeps and anyone who will listen that this unusual panic of being sqooshed to pieces had to be formed in another lifetime because, really now, where the heck else would it come from ??
& they almost always return my commentary with rolled eyes, patient focus and a polite getaway.

But, yesterday ?
Yesterday, I did this

That's Husband's 1995 Ford Pickup, lifted up with a couple of jacks.
The starter needed to be replaced and of course it had to be under the truck and not somewhere easy
oh, and the reason WHY ?? we didn't take it to a shop with a handy, dandy mechanic ??
because by golly !! that's just how we roll.
It might take a few days and a whole bunch of swearing but, you best believe it WILL be accomplished

& it was.
We accomplished.
Well, actually, he did.
I just handed over some tools, stood around and dilly-dallied most of the time but, yeah, I can say I helped

& we were thisclose to finishing,
THISCLOSE
& ohmygosh.
I was asked if I could get under that truck and tighten what could not be reached by Husband.

GULP.

It most definitely was a heart pounding, I DON'T WANNA !! moment
but, I did it.
I. Did. It.
I kinda, sorta, somewhat conquered a fear.

yay

So why in the world am I wasting your busy morning telling you this ??

uh
no reason

I'm just proud of myself  because I really, REALLY didn't think I could !!
& if I can ??
You can too.

Oh. Yes. You. Can.

Whatever it is, wherever it be ...
Here's to you and me conquering every little everything that needs to be conquered today, tomorrow and all those next days too.

YaY US

:)

I Am My Feelings