Easter Egging

I am a grown-ed up grown-up, so you'd think I'd be over it by now but, truth be told ?
I'm not.
I am sooooo not.

Look.

& look !

& since today is Easter Eve, I'm pretty certain you already know what comes next


! ! ! ! ! 

Chalk it up to warm, lovable memories but, when it come to Easter egging ?
the child in me steps up, hunkers in and joyfully exclaims, "ORANGE !! Make an orange one !!"
& if I could, I would sprinkle the world with this perfect, little glow of happy.

So !
Since there is absolutely no one or nothing stopping me ...

Consider yourself sprinkled !
&
Enjoy your Eve.

weeeeeee.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Every Card

There is a song that pops up quite often on my daily walks
& it hits me like a ton of bricks every time I listen.
It's the garden scene from the 1970 rock opera, 'Jesus Christ Superstar'
& if you've never heard, I highly recommend.

Gethsemane (I Only Want To Say)

I love every single line of those beautiful lyrics. 

"God thy will is hard but You hold every card
I will drink your cup of poison
Nail me to your cross and break me ... "

Those are my favorite words.
Ever.
I've repeated them a zillion times, especially on my darkest days.
They are my knock upside the head, Jesus reminder.

Those words cue me into the fact that no matter what
NO. MATTER.WHAT.
I go through in life
Jesus has been there, He's done that
& He's most definitely "got" whatever "this" I happen to be facing.

He is with me through the good times
& I absolutely know He is with me on those not so goods too.
Every heartache, every inconceivable happening, every 'why me?' or 'what now?' moment.
Jesus is there.

I trust.
He embraces.
My every doubt is erased because of Him.

"I will drink your cup of poison"

He did.
He so did
& I could seriously wad up in a ball and cry just thinking about His incredible selflessness.

Thank you my Jesus, my very best friend.
This heart of mine is yours.

Forever.
Yours.

:)

I Am My Feelings

At The Beep

I was on the phone the other day, all nice and prepared to talk.
I had just dialed the number of an important business guy that I was hoping would handle my important business.

So.
There I am.
All tidy and ready for our big conversation
& then
I get his voicemail.

Please. Leave. A. Message.

Beeeeeeeep

& suddenly,
I turned into a bumbly, babbling, stammering, stuttering scatterbrain.

er... gulp ... well ya see... uh ...

The words just wouldn't come out, so I rattled off some kind of something and quickly, embarrassingly hung up the phone.

Great.
Just Great.
Will my important business guy be able to translate my incoherent words ?!?
I just know he's going to think I'm a bumbly, babbling, stammering, stuttering scatterbrain.
or he will surely wonder if I've been drinking.

oh no
NO

He's going to think I am a DRUNK, bumbly, babbling, stammering, stuttering scatterbrain.

noooooooo 

I don't know what comes over me when it comes to leaving voicemails.
My ! out of order ! light flips on, for sure.
I could write a perfect script of exactly what I will say and I'd still find a way to mess it up.
ummm
Note to Self ?
Just leave a message then STOP TALKING.
I always forget there is absolutely no reason to leave a detailed description of my life.

ooops

Other people I know have such pleasant phone voices, such command of their dialect.
Well placed, intelligent sounding words tumble out of their mouths
& I envy them.
I really do.

Lucky for me though, my important business guy decoded my mystery and called me back at his earliest convenience
&
We had a very wonderful, quite comprehensible conversation.

YaY.

But, yep.
It's true.
When it comes time to talk after that beep ?
I'll do the best darn Porky Pig impersonation you will ever, EVER hear.

Th - th - th - that's all folks !

:)

I Am My Feelings

G L I D E

I type.
I delete.
I type.
I delete.
I argh.
I grrrr.
I fuss.
Until finally,
I lay my head back.
I close my eyes.
I wait.

Oh, Inspiration.
Where are you ??

My mind takes me back to that perfectly blue sky
& them.
Sometimes one, often two, occasionally three.
Hey, there's a hawk.
Did you see that hawk ?
Over and over again they appeared, until their presence became commonplace and expected.
As if a door was opened, a needing to share.

Look up.
Just look up.

Simple.
Elegant.
Beauty.

Calm, easy, strong and continuous was their soar
& that glide !
that oh, soooooo uncomplicated G   L   I   D   E

Powerful.
Determined.
Glorious ...

I hear a car door.
I open my eyes.
I see my laptop patiently waiting for my words.
I wonder.
I hope.
I agree.
Yes.
Life can, life should be that incredibly effortless, Mr Hawk.

Message received.
Message relayed.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

Bubbles

Read by Ken Guidotti 

Sometimes my hands shake.

Other times I get sweaty.

My heart beats fast.

My mind stops thinking.

My belly feels funny ..… kind of bubbly.

That's me.

My name is Nervous but, you can call me Bubbles.

 

Now … I really don't like to brag ...but ...I just have to tell you this …

I am known by people all over the WORLD.

Why, I would say every single person in the world knows me.

Some talk to me everyday.

Some, just once in awhile.

But, every person in the world knows who I am because every person in the world

gets nervous.

Everybody.

Big adult people.  Little kid people.

Nice people.  Mean people.

Loud people.  Quiet people.

People who live far away.

People who live on your street.

All.  People.

And that is because being nervous is natural.

 

Have you ever had to give a speech?

Or stand in front of a room full of eyes watching you and only YOU?

Oh boy.

Bubbles !

Your hands shake.  Your voice may tremble.

But, it really is ok.

What you are feeling when you are in front of those eyes is exactly what the next

person will feel when they stand in front of those eyes.

Sometimes you see me.  Sometimes not.  But, my bubbles and I are always there.

So don't be ashamed of being nervous because you are not alone.

I am everywhere.

Everybody gets nervous.

 

How about when you meet someone you never met before?

A brand new person in your life.

Ever feel like me?  A little nervous?

It's because sometimes it's just not easy talking with someone you don't know yet.

So...you don't. You just stay quiet.

I guess you think you might say something wrong or silly.

Oh boy.

Bubbles !

You get a little sweaty.

Your mind stops thinking.

But, don't worry.  It really is ok.

Lots of people are nervous meeting someone new.

I'll bet if you talk to that person you will see you have things in common. 

You both like chocolate or pickles or something like that....

But, if you don't talk to each other you will never know !

 

Oh ! Here's another one.

When you try something you have never ever tried before.

Like ...ride a bike... or go to school for the very first time ….or play a game you have never

played.

Yep.

Bubbles !

Your heart beats fast. 

Your belly feels funny.

Guess what?  That is ok too.

You have never ever done this before so of course you are nervous !

I bet you think you might goof it up or someone will be better than you.

I guess that might be true but...if you try it you will learn it.  If you don't, you won't.

Remember everyone who tries something new gets nervous.

Everyone.

Bubbles are everywhere. 

 

Don't ever be afraid of being nervous and be happy you have bubbles.

You are trying new things and meeting new people and it is ok to feel what you feel

Hey, did you know being nervous actually makes you strong?

You want to know why?

Because when you try new things you see that.... You Did It.

Even though you were nervous.... You Did It. 

Then the next time comes along and... You Did It Again !

Pretty soon you are just not so nervous anymore.

And THAT will make you feel strong.

You'll see .  It's true.

Being nervous is natural because everybody gets nervous.

Everybody.

Bubbles really are everywhere !!

 

:)

 

I Am My Feelings

 

 

Yes, Please

We're gonna play play play all day day day !!
is what we sing
& how we do when I am with them.

From dawn to dusk,
here to there,
start to finish.
It is pure, continuous, busy fun
 &
if I haven't mentioned it a million times already ?
I absolutely ADORE spending these moments with the boys I call Grand.

So.
There we were on Saturday night with our pizza party and sleepover
with kudos given to Mommy for setting us up with such a cozy camp out.

YaY

Bellies full ?
check
Pjs on ?
check
Teeth brushed ?
yup
Stories told ?
uh huh
Kisses given ?
yep !

& ahhhh

Goodnight

& as I laid there hunkered, relaxed and completely surrounded by contented quiet,
I noticed.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

& I thought,
Life.

! ! Life ! !

Precious.
Priceless. 
Fragile and sacred.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.

What a gloriously wonderful gift.

Let us cherish.
Respect.
Enjoy.

& if given the opportunity to play play play all day day day ?
oooooooooh, say Yes, Please.

! Yes !

:)

I Am My Feelings

The Side Road

I'm not a fan of expressways.
That's just tooooo many people in tooooo many vehicles for me and my brain to handle.
If given a choice, I will choose the long way home.
All the time.
Every time.
Because the long way home puts me on the side road
& I adore the side road.

Yes.
It WILL take forever to get there
& yep
There just might be stretches of endlessness.
Rest stops ?
eh.
A locally owned gas station or convenience store is a good way to stretch those legs too. 
uh huh
I know.
I know.
A side road is inconvenient
and slow
and boring
and and and
hey !
couldja pipe down back there and just enjoy the view ?!?

ahhhhhh.
The view.
Now that's what I'm talking about ...!...
That incredibly wonderful view.
Mile upon mile upon mile of gorgeous skies, infinite landscape
& a whole lotta nothing.

Nothing.
But.
Trees.

 ! ! ! ! !

Ooooooo side roads.
How I loooooove those side roads.
Do yourself a favor and go find yourself one
& enjoy.

Just enjoy.

:)

I Am My Feelings