I wonder why I should bother
Does anyone care?
Often think I'm wasting my life
If someone is out there
I do not know
All I feel is heartache and strife
I care, I do
I listen to you
And I hope one day you will see
Your words, so kind
Have opened my mind
And yes, you matter to me
I am wishing, I am seeking
This dream that I dream
Though I really can't tell you why
The answer I know lies somewhere within
Only God knows why I still try
(But)
I care, I do
I listen to you
And I pray one day you will see
Your words, so kind
Have opened my mind
And yes, you matter to me
All I need is one person
A believer, like me
Silly, but I know it is true
Dreams happen in time, of that I am sure
I know I am searching for you
('cause)
I care, I do
I listen to you
And I know one day you will see
Your words, so kind
Have opened my mind
And yes, you matter to me
Oh yes, you matter to me
:)
Read by Ken Guidotti
Monday, April 15, 2019
Wednesday, February 13, 2019
Collin and the Big Bald Tree
Read by Ken Guidotti
This is Collin.
Collin loves his mom, his dad and his sister Julia.
He loves his dog Carmine, ketchup on pizza, Transformers and light switches.
Collin also loves Aunt Jacki’s house.
He loves her swimming pool and her big backyard.
But, most of all, he loves Jacki’s big, bald tree.
Collin loves that tree because it is the biggest and the baldest tree he has ever seen.
He thinks that tree is the most beautiful tree in the whole wide world.
Collin is sure it is the best tree ever!
Some people do not agree with Collin.
They think he is a silly kid thinking silly kid thoughts.
They think Jacki’s tree is ugly.
People say it is ugly because Jacki’s tree has no leaves like the other trees in the yard.
It has no bark like the other trees.
Jacki’s tree does not look like a normal tree.
It is different.
It is big, bald and different.
And that is why Collin loves that tree.
It’s big. It’s bald. It’s beautiful and it is different.
Collin loves to sit by the big, bald tree.
Sometimes he reads a book.
Sometimes he takes a nap.
Other times, he listens to the birds or watches the squirrels and bunnies.
Collin knows everyone thinks the tree is big, bald and ugly.
He has heard people say the tree should be chopped down.
Collin tells the people, “The birds do not care if the tree is bald.”
He knows the birds sit in the tree and chirp all day long.
Collin tells the people, “The squirrels do not care if the tree is different.”
He knows the squirrels scurry up and down the tree every day.
Collin knows the bunnies hop happily around the tree.
He has seen deer, fox and coyotes enjoying the tree.
Collin knows the big, bald tree brings happiness to him and all the animals.
He knows this is a beautiful feeling and a beautiful tree.
One day, while Collin was swimming in Jacki’s pool, a man came to town.
The man looked at the tree and said, “That is the ugliest tree I have ever seen. It’s big. It’s bald.
It’s ugly and it is different. I am going to chop it down and plant a tree that has leaves and bark.
I am going to plant a beautiful tree!”
The man knocked on Jacki’s door and yelled, “We must chop down this big, bald, ugly tree
because it is different!”
Jacki said, “NO!”
Collin said, “NO!”
But the man said, “YES! I can chop down this tree because I am in charge of keeping things
beautiful. I will be here tomorrow with my saw and I will chop down this big, bald, ugly
tree.”
Collin ran to the tree that he loved so much.
He sat there and he cried and cried.
But suddenly Collin stopped crying and started thinking.
Collin decided that he would be there when the man with the saw came to chop down his
tree.
He would sit right next to his tree like he does every single day.
If the man was going to chop his tree down he would have to chop Collin down too.
The next morning, before everyone was awake, Collin was sitting near his tree.
When Jacki woke up and looked out her window she said, “Collin, what are you doing sitting by
your tree? It is so early.”
Collin told Jacki what he was doing.
Jacki thought Collin’s idea was the best idea she had ever heard.
She packed a picnic basket and went to sit by the tree with Collin.
Collin called his mom, his dad, his sister Julia and his dog Carmine.
Collin’s mom called Grandma, Grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins.
The birds saw what was happening and called their bird friends to come and chirp on the big,
bald tree.
The squirrels heard the birds chirping and called all their squirrel friends to scurry in the big, bald tree.
The bunnies saw all the activity near the tree and decided to join in.
The deer, fox and coyotes brought their families for fun around the big, bald tree.
Why even the bugs, flowers and other trees were having a grand time!
Soon, people from all around town came to relax by the big, bald tree.
The people sat and listened to Collin talk about how much he loved the tree.
They began to love the tree too.
Just then, the man with the saw walked up and shouted, “What is going on here?”
As the man looked up he noticed happy people, animals, bugs, flowers and other trees.
He saw Collin and he saw Collin’s big, bald tree.
But Collin’s tree was not the same.
It was still big. It was still bald. It was still different.
But, suddenly, the man thought the big, bald tree was beautiful.
The man looked at Collin and said, “I was wrong. This is not a big, bald, ugly tree. It is a big,
bald, beautiful tree. It is beautiful because it brings happiness to others. I will not chop your tree
down. Your tree is different but, it is also special. This tree will stay at Jacki’s house forever!”
And the big, bald tree did stay at Jacki’s house forever.
Bringing happiness to people, birds, squirrels, bunnies, deer, fox, coyotes, bugs, flowers, and
other trees.
But, most of all, the BIG BALD BEAUTIFUL DIFFERENT tree brought happiness to Collin.
:)
This is Collin.
Collin loves his mom, his dad and his sister Julia.
He loves his dog Carmine, ketchup on pizza, Transformers and light switches.
Collin also loves Aunt Jacki’s house.
He loves her swimming pool and her big backyard.
But, most of all, he loves Jacki’s big, bald tree.
Collin loves that tree because it is the biggest and the baldest tree he has ever seen.
He thinks that tree is the most beautiful tree in the whole wide world.
Collin is sure it is the best tree ever!
Some people do not agree with Collin.
They think he is a silly kid thinking silly kid thoughts.
They think Jacki’s tree is ugly.
People say it is ugly because Jacki’s tree has no leaves like the other trees in the yard.
It has no bark like the other trees.
Jacki’s tree does not look like a normal tree.
It is different.
It is big, bald and different.
And that is why Collin loves that tree.
It’s big. It’s bald. It’s beautiful and it is different.
Collin loves to sit by the big, bald tree.
Sometimes he reads a book.
Sometimes he takes a nap.
Other times, he listens to the birds or watches the squirrels and bunnies.
Collin knows everyone thinks the tree is big, bald and ugly.
He has heard people say the tree should be chopped down.
Collin tells the people, “The birds do not care if the tree is bald.”
He knows the birds sit in the tree and chirp all day long.
Collin tells the people, “The squirrels do not care if the tree is different.”
He knows the squirrels scurry up and down the tree every day.
Collin knows the bunnies hop happily around the tree.
He has seen deer, fox and coyotes enjoying the tree.
Collin knows the big, bald tree brings happiness to him and all the animals.
He knows this is a beautiful feeling and a beautiful tree.
One day, while Collin was swimming in Jacki’s pool, a man came to town.
The man looked at the tree and said, “That is the ugliest tree I have ever seen. It’s big. It’s bald.
It’s ugly and it is different. I am going to chop it down and plant a tree that has leaves and bark.
I am going to plant a beautiful tree!”
The man knocked on Jacki’s door and yelled, “We must chop down this big, bald, ugly tree
because it is different!”
Jacki said, “NO!”
Collin said, “NO!”
But the man said, “YES! I can chop down this tree because I am in charge of keeping things
beautiful. I will be here tomorrow with my saw and I will chop down this big, bald, ugly
tree.”
Collin ran to the tree that he loved so much.
He sat there and he cried and cried.
But suddenly Collin stopped crying and started thinking.
Collin decided that he would be there when the man with the saw came to chop down his
tree.
He would sit right next to his tree like he does every single day.
If the man was going to chop his tree down he would have to chop Collin down too.
The next morning, before everyone was awake, Collin was sitting near his tree.
When Jacki woke up and looked out her window she said, “Collin, what are you doing sitting by
your tree? It is so early.”
Collin told Jacki what he was doing.
Jacki thought Collin’s idea was the best idea she had ever heard.
She packed a picnic basket and went to sit by the tree with Collin.
Collin called his mom, his dad, his sister Julia and his dog Carmine.
Collin’s mom called Grandma, Grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins.
The birds saw what was happening and called their bird friends to come and chirp on the big,
bald tree.
The squirrels heard the birds chirping and called all their squirrel friends to scurry in the big, bald tree.
The bunnies saw all the activity near the tree and decided to join in.
The deer, fox and coyotes brought their families for fun around the big, bald tree.
Why even the bugs, flowers and other trees were having a grand time!
Soon, people from all around town came to relax by the big, bald tree.
The people sat and listened to Collin talk about how much he loved the tree.
They began to love the tree too.
Just then, the man with the saw walked up and shouted, “What is going on here?”
As the man looked up he noticed happy people, animals, bugs, flowers and other trees.
He saw Collin and he saw Collin’s big, bald tree.
But Collin’s tree was not the same.
It was still big. It was still bald. It was still different.
But, suddenly, the man thought the big, bald tree was beautiful.
The man looked at Collin and said, “I was wrong. This is not a big, bald, ugly tree. It is a big,
bald, beautiful tree. It is beautiful because it brings happiness to others. I will not chop your tree
down. Your tree is different but, it is also special. This tree will stay at Jacki’s house forever!”
And the big, bald tree did stay at Jacki’s house forever.
Bringing happiness to people, birds, squirrels, bunnies, deer, fox, coyotes, bugs, flowers, and
other trees.
But, most of all, the BIG BALD BEAUTIFUL DIFFERENT tree brought happiness to Collin.
:)
Thursday, January 10, 2019
With You For You And You
A whisper in the darkness
The cry that no one hears
A haven I can run to
The calmer of my fears
My home for perfect happy
Believer of my dreams
An answer to my wonder
The roadmap to my schemes
With you, for you and you
The only one I see
With you, for you and you
Continually, I'll be
A keeper of my secrets
The light who brightens life
Protector through all troubles
My quieter of strife
Trustworthy and so hopeful
My confidence, my friend
Consistent, kind and caring
A promise to the end
With you, for you and you
The only one I see
With you, for you and you
Continually, I'll be
An infinite assistant
To everything I do
So humbled, blessed and thankful
Devoted to you too
With you, for you and you
The only one I see
With you, for you and you
Continually, I'll be
:)
The cry that no one hears
A haven I can run to
The calmer of my fears
My home for perfect happy
Believer of my dreams
An answer to my wonder
The roadmap to my schemes
With you, for you and you
The only one I see
With you, for you and you
Continually, I'll be
A keeper of my secrets
The light who brightens life
Protector through all troubles
My quieter of strife
Trustworthy and so hopeful
My confidence, my friend
Consistent, kind and caring
A promise to the end
With you, for you and you
The only one I see
With you, for you and you
Continually, I'll be
An infinite assistant
To everything I do
So humbled, blessed and thankful
Devoted to you too
With you, for you and you
The only one I see
With you, for you and you
Continually, I'll be
:)
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Relocated
Good Morning !
&
BIG THANKS for your loyal visits to these rambling words of mine.
I need you to know, starting today, you can find me at my new website
jackihaltonmcavoy.com
I've launched into something different
&
I sooooo hope you join me !!
:)
&
BIG THANKS for your loyal visits to these rambling words of mine.
I need you to know, starting today, you can find me at my new website
jackihaltonmcavoy.com
I've launched into something different
&
I sooooo hope you join me !!
:)
Tuesday, May 29, 2018
Lesson of a Lilac
I think I've made it perfectly clear
but just in case I haven't, well,
here you go.
Again.
I
ADORE
LILACS
I mean, really REALLY.
No if's, ands or rethinks
I do.
I doooooooo
! ! ! ! !
& if I could spend my entire lifetime hunkered within and surrounded by that bewitching scent ?
oooooh, you best believe, I would !! because I so love them so.
But.
Even though my feelings are eternal,
I do have one, teeeeeeny, tiny, itsy bitsy, minuscule gripe, Lilac Bush.
- - - - - - - - - -
Common lilacs (Syringa vulgaris) bloom in early spring as soon as the weather warms. The blooms remain for one or two weeks, filling the air with a sweet fragrance. When the blooms fade, common lilacs do not rebloom until the following spring.
- - - - - - - - - -
to which I reply
WHY ???????
Why only a week or two ?!??
Why not ALWAYS and FOREVER, Lilac ??
or at the very least.
um, say ..
most times and more frequently !?!
I don't get it.
You hand me this slice of Heaven
& then you take it away
bam
gone
goodbye, until next time
& then it hit me, like a ton of bricks, it did.
Until next time.
You are here in your steadfastness, dear Lilac.
You stand firm.
You weather the extremes
You patiently wait and wait
& then
! ! ! ! !
you blossom with such joy and exuberance and show this world exactly what you are and what you do.
You offer beauty and colors
& you shine for all to see and enjoy and share.
Then you go away with a solid promise to return.
Over and over you return
and delight
and teach.
Oh, the lesson you teach
& as you ready yourself to just like that !! leave me again, my elusive friend,
I just need to say, it took me awhile but, I finally understand
&
I appreciate more.
See you next year.
:)
I Am My Feelings
but just in case I haven't, well,
here you go.
Again.
I
ADORE
LILACS
I mean, really REALLY.
No if's, ands or rethinks
I do.
I doooooooo
! ! ! ! !
& if I could spend my entire lifetime hunkered within and surrounded by that bewitching scent ?
oooooh, you best believe, I would !! because I so love them so.
But.
Even though my feelings are eternal,
I do have one, teeeeeeny, tiny, itsy bitsy, minuscule gripe, Lilac Bush.
- - - - - - - - - -
Common lilacs (Syringa vulgaris) bloom in early spring as soon as the weather warms. The blooms remain for one or two weeks, filling the air with a sweet fragrance. When the blooms fade, common lilacs do not rebloom until the following spring.
- - - - - - - - - -
to which I reply
WHY ???????
Why only a week or two ?!??
Why not ALWAYS and FOREVER, Lilac ??
or at the very least.
um, say ..
most times and more frequently !?!
I don't get it.
You hand me this slice of Heaven
& then you take it away
bam
gone
goodbye, until next time
& then it hit me, like a ton of bricks, it did.
Until next time.
You are here in your steadfastness, dear Lilac.
You stand firm.
You weather the extremes
You patiently wait and wait
& then
! ! ! ! !
you blossom with such joy and exuberance and show this world exactly what you are and what you do.
You offer beauty and colors
& you shine for all to see and enjoy and share.
Then you go away with a solid promise to return.
Over and over you return
and delight
and teach.
Oh, the lesson you teach
& as you ready yourself to just like that !! leave me again, my elusive friend,
I just need to say, it took me awhile but, I finally understand
&
I appreciate more.
See you next year.
:)
I Am My Feelings
Monday, May 28, 2018
Robert
His name is Robert.
Captain Robert.
We've never met, yet I have known him for years
& I carry him with me in my mind, in my heart.
Robert was a Prisoner of War in Vietnam.
His was the name on a P.O.W. bracelet I once wore.
This bracelet was originally Uncle's.
Mom's brother was kind enough to gift it to his teenage niece who wanted, needed, just had to have one.
P.O.W. bracelets were the style to be wearing back in the day
& wear, I did.
I wore that bracelet so much, I almost broke it.
I removed it from my wrist only because I feared it would snap apart, be forever ruined
& the last thing I wanted was to ruin my Robert bracelet.
I was a teen though
& I really knew nothing about him, about wars or about being a prisoner in a war.
The bracelet was the cool thing to have and I had one.
I was cool.
The older I grew, the more intrigued I became with this P.O.W. named Robert.
I knew he was from New York because Mom's family knew of his family.
Gramma's local newspaper would offer occasion updates on their town's servicemen and women
& conversations with Gramma almost always included Robert.
.
Eventually, sadly, the news arrived that Robert would not be coming home.
It was said that Robert's mama kept the faith though, certain she would one day see her son again.
I hear she lived her faith until the day she died.
Many years later, when my parents visited the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C.
Mom found Robert's name on that sacred wall of heroes.
I still have that pencil rub along with information provided about Robert
& his bracelet quietly rests in my jewelry box.
I think of Robert often, especially on Memorial Day.
He pops into my brain to remind me he was a very incredible human being
& he's opened my eyes to a most powerful realization.
Thank You Robert.
Captain Robert.
For your service.
For your courage.
For your sacrifice.
You are so much more than a name.
:)
I Am My Feelings
Captain Robert.
We've never met, yet I have known him for years
& I carry him with me in my mind, in my heart.
Robert was a Prisoner of War in Vietnam.
His was the name on a P.O.W. bracelet I once wore.
This bracelet was originally Uncle's.
Mom's brother was kind enough to gift it to his teenage niece who wanted, needed, just had to have one.
P.O.W. bracelets were the style to be wearing back in the day
& wear, I did.
I wore that bracelet so much, I almost broke it.
I removed it from my wrist only because I feared it would snap apart, be forever ruined
& the last thing I wanted was to ruin my Robert bracelet.
I was a teen though
& I really knew nothing about him, about wars or about being a prisoner in a war.
The bracelet was the cool thing to have and I had one.
I was cool.
The older I grew, the more intrigued I became with this P.O.W. named Robert.
I knew he was from New York because Mom's family knew of his family.
Gramma's local newspaper would offer occasion updates on their town's servicemen and women
& conversations with Gramma almost always included Robert.
.
Eventually, sadly, the news arrived that Robert would not be coming home.
It was said that Robert's mama kept the faith though, certain she would one day see her son again.
I hear she lived her faith until the day she died.
Many years later, when my parents visited the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C.
Mom found Robert's name on that sacred wall of heroes.
I still have that pencil rub along with information provided about Robert
& his bracelet quietly rests in my jewelry box.
I think of Robert often, especially on Memorial Day.
He pops into my brain to remind me he was a very incredible human being
& he's opened my eyes to a most powerful realization.
Thank You Robert.
Captain Robert.
For your service.
For your courage.
For your sacrifice.
You are so much more than a name.
:)
I Am My Feelings
Sunday, May 27, 2018
In The Park
I can't believe I had this conversation but, there I was, debating.
ahhh
I don't know
maybe
maybe not
it's so hot outside
it'll probably be crowded
I'm comfortable
it's only one day
I'll go tomorrow
hmmm
& had it not been for a fitbit challenge I was determined to make a non embarrassing showing in,
I'd probably have sat still, waiting for next time.
It's the holiday weekend.
I want to do nothing.
not one thing
& exactly why are you replying 'no' to a Wicker Walk ?? I guiltily inquired of myself.
Get your lazy arse out of the chair and do it
just do it
& so,
I did.
& no offense my people but, when I saw how pleasantly empty my Happy Place was ??
! ! gleeeeeeeee ! !
The picnickers packed up, the summer day frolic over, I had Heaven pretty much to myself
& selfish me very selfishly exclaimed,
YIPPEEEEEEEEE
The brights, the shadows,
EVERYTHING was lit so amazingly right as I step, step, stepped along
The colors.
The sounds,
The scents and sights cleared my mind and lightened my load.
I saw our Moon rising
our Sun setting
The noise was silenced.
My heart felt blessed
& this morning, as I gaze out my window anticipating a brand, new today ?
I have no questions.
No discussion.
No doubts
To do or not to do ?
From now until forever,
my answer should be
must be
will be
YES.
:)
I Am My Feelings
ahhh
I don't know
maybe
maybe not
it's so hot outside
it'll probably be crowded
I'm comfortable
it's only one day
I'll go tomorrow
hmmm
& had it not been for a fitbit challenge I was determined to make a non embarrassing showing in,
I'd probably have sat still, waiting for next time.
It's the holiday weekend.
I want to do nothing.
not one thing
& exactly why are you replying 'no' to a Wicker Walk ?? I guiltily inquired of myself.
Get your lazy arse out of the chair and do it
just do it
& so,
I did.
& no offense my people but, when I saw how pleasantly empty my Happy Place was ??
! ! gleeeeeeeee ! !
The picnickers packed up, the summer day frolic over, I had Heaven pretty much to myself
& selfish me very selfishly exclaimed,
YIPPEEEEEEEEE
The brights, the shadows,
EVERYTHING was lit so amazingly right as I step, step, stepped along
The colors.
The sounds,
The scents and sights cleared my mind and lightened my load.
I saw our Moon rising
our Sun setting
The noise was silenced.
My heart felt blessed
& this morning, as I gaze out my window anticipating a brand, new today ?
I have no questions.
No discussion.
No doubts
To do or not to do ?
From now until forever,
my answer should be
must be
will be
YES.
:)
I Am My Feelings
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