Fess Up Cigarettes

It's Friday.
Time to fess up.

Hmmmm.
Here's one.

I've smoked only two cigarettes in my life.

Yep. Two.

The first was with a friend of mine.
We were in middle school or early high school.
Her brother smoked so she stole a few cigarettes from him.
We thought we were so cool.

We weren't.

I believe it's called a coughing fit.
Uh huh.

After that, I never really thought about smoking until I was 21 or so.
I was in my aunt's bathroom.
She was quite a smoker so she'd never notice one missing. 
She wasn't home.
Why not ...?

Same result.
I'm sure I looked like a goof standing in her bathroom trying to cough ! cough !  look cool.

My fess up today is not so much that I've only smoked two cigarettes in my life.
It's the reason.

I've only smoked two cigarettes because I didn't know how to inhale or exhale or however the heck you smoke a cigarette.
I could never figure it out.

I still don't know how.

Cough. Cough. Cough.

Fess. Fess. Fess.

:)