Relocated

Good Morning !

&

BIG THANKS for your loyal visits to these rambling words of mine.

I need you to know, starting today, you can find me at my new website

 jackihaltonmcavoy.com

I've launched into something different
&
I sooooo hope you join me !!


:)

Lesson of a Lilac

I think I've made it perfectly clear
but just in case I haven't, well,
here you go.
Again.

I

ADORE

LILACS

I mean, really REALLY.

No if's, ands or rethinks

I do.

I doooooooo

! ! ! ! !

& if I could spend my entire lifetime hunkered within and surrounded by that bewitching scent ?
oooooh, you best believe, I would !! because I so love them so.

But.
Even though my feelings are eternal,
I do have one, teeeeeeny, tiny, itsy bitsy, minuscule gripe, Lilac Bush.

- - - - - - - - - -

 Common lilacs (Syringa vulgaris) bloom in early spring as soon as the weather warms. The blooms remain for one or two weeks, filling the air with a sweet fragrance. When the blooms fade, common lilacs do not rebloom until the following spring.

- - - - - - - - - -

to which I reply

WHY ???????

Why only a week or two ?!??
Why not ALWAYS and FOREVER, Lilac ??
or at the very least.
um, say ..
most times and more frequently !?!

I don't get it.
You hand me this slice of Heaven 
& then you take it away
bam
gone
goodbye, until next time

& then it hit me, like a ton of bricks, it did.
Until next time.

You are here in your steadfastness, dear Lilac.
You stand firm.
You weather the extremes
You patiently wait and wait
& then

 ! ! ! ! !

you blossom with such joy and exuberance and show this world exactly what you are and what you do.
You offer beauty and colors
& you shine for all to see and enjoy and share.
Then you go away with a solid promise to return.
Over and over you return
and delight
and teach. 
Oh, the lesson you teach

& as you ready yourself to just like that !! leave me again, my elusive friend, 
I just need to say, it took me awhile but, I finally understand
& 
I appreciate more.

See you next year.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Robert

His name is Robert.
Captain Robert.

We've never met, yet I have known him for years
& I carry him with me in my mind, in my heart.

Robert was a Prisoner of War in Vietnam.
His was the name on a P.O.W. bracelet I once wore.

This bracelet was originally Uncle's.
Mom's brother was kind enough to gift it to his teenage niece who wanted, needed, just had to have one.
P.O.W. bracelets were the style to be wearing back in the day
& wear, I did.
I wore that bracelet so much, I almost broke it.
I removed it from my wrist only because I feared it would snap apart, be forever ruined
& the last thing I wanted was to ruin my Robert bracelet.

I was a teen though
& I really knew nothing about him, about wars or about being a prisoner in a war.
The bracelet was the cool thing to have and I had one.
I was cool.

The older I grew, the more intrigued I became with this P.O.W. named Robert.
I knew he was from New York because Mom's family knew of his family.
Gramma's local newspaper would offer occasion updates on their town's servicemen and women
& conversations with Gramma almost always included Robert.
.
Eventually, sadly, the news arrived that Robert would not be coming home.
It was said that Robert's mama kept the faith though, certain she would one day see her son again.
I hear she lived her faith until the day she died.

Many years later, when my parents visited the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C.
Mom found Robert's name on that sacred wall of heroes.
I still have that pencil rub along with information provided about Robert
& his bracelet quietly rests in my jewelry box.

I think of Robert often, especially on Memorial Day.
He pops into my brain to remind me he was a very incredible human being
& he's opened my eyes to a most powerful realization.

Thank You Robert.
Captain Robert.

For your service.
For your courage.
For your sacrifice.

You are so much more than a name.

:)

I Am My Feelings

In The Park

I can't believe I had this conversation but, there I was, debating.

ahhh
I don't know
maybe
maybe not
it's so hot outside
it'll probably be crowded
I'm comfortable
it's only one day
I'll go tomorrow

hmmm

& had it not been for a fitbit challenge I was determined to make a non embarrassing showing  in,
I'd probably have sat still, waiting for next time.
It's the holiday weekend.
I want to do nothing.

not one thing

& exactly why are you replying 'no' to a Wicker Walk ?? I guiltily inquired of myself.
Get your lazy arse out of the chair and do it
just do it

& so,
I did. 

 & no offense my people but, when I saw how pleasantly empty my Happy Place was ??

! ! gleeeeeeeee ! !

The picnickers packed up, the summer day frolic over, I had Heaven pretty much to myself
& selfish me very selfishly exclaimed,

YIPPEEEEEEEEE

The brights, the shadows,
EVERYTHING was lit so amazingly right as I step, step, stepped along

 

The colors.
The sounds,
The scents and sights cleared my mind and lightened my load.

I saw our Moon rising

our Sun setting

The noise was silenced.
My heart felt blessed

& this morning, as I gaze out my window anticipating a brand, new today ?

I have no questions.
No discussion.
No doubts

To do or not to do ?

From now until forever,
my answer should be
must be
will be
YES.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Continental Muffins

Happy Memorial Day Weekend !

& if you happen to be wondering,
nope
I am not one of the millions traveling the highways and byways this year.

This year, I am happily kicking back with a whole lotta nothing.

No. Thing.

A burnt hot dog,
a fire in the pit,
a lawn chair

&
ahhhhh
that's all I ask out of life.

But, since so many of you have hit the road and are driving off to your happy place destinations, I thought I'd add to your merriment with some words from my archives.

Welcome back to 'Continental Muffins'
written October, 2016

Enjoy ! !

- - - - - - - - --

I've often wondered why continental breakfasts are called continental breakfasts.
I always figured it had something to do with people on every continent loving breakfast
& so,
I googled
& now, I know.

YaY.

The reason I mention this morning delight is because someone I know and happen to be traveling with is a big fan of continental breakfasts.
Big. Big. Fan.
Some would say borderline obsessed.
Not that I have a problem with continental breakfasts, I surely don't.
I love me a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin before I hit the road.
But if a hotel happens to not offer this freebie, I'm ok.
Life will go on.
I'll just get my coffee elsewhere, thank you very much.

Husband doesn't quite see things this way.
He firmly believes if we are paying good money to stay overnight then, by golly, breakfast better be part of that deal
& 99.9% of the time breakfast IS part of that deal.

oy.

So.
As I was enjoying yet another continental breakfast yesterday morning, I began to ponder continental breakfasts
& maybe I do have a problem with them after all.

My problem ?
The eyeballs of my fellow travelers who are also enjoying continental breakfasts.
I always feel so watched.
As I walk in as the newbie to the continental breakfast line,
as I search for and choose my muffin,
as I turn to find a seat in this perpetually popular, crowded room,
and especially as I go up for another blueberry muffin because the first was so good.
Yes.
Watched
& dare I say, judged.

I know it's just me and my imagination.
I know nobody there really gives a hoot how many muffins I grab.
I'm just feeling this incredible need to release some pent up emotions today.
I have to set them free.

So, NO,
I am NOT a fan of continental breakfasts.

& there.
I said it.
I finally said it.

But, I'll survive.
I'll do what I have to do.
I'll carry on
& as long as I continue to travel with this extremely devoted continental breakfast devotee,
I must.

Lucky for me, he doesn't mind grabbing that extra blueberry muffin.

YuM.

--------------------

:)

I Am My Feelings

Bar None

Bar Elbow

A condition that occurs from spending an excessive amount of time/money at the bar (usually Sunday Football) so that you begin to rely on your elbows to support the intoxicated mess you have become. When you awake the next morning, not only will you find yourself with a fierce hangover, your elbows have scabbed over entirely because you have rubbed the skin raw trying not to fall out of your bar seat from the day before.

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Well, ok then, Urban Dictionary

I guess it IS a real thing

hmmm 

& here I am, after all this time, 

all these years, figuring it was a silly something my mama invented.

Now.

Before you go imagining a bunch of unimaginable things about me, let me sort out a few facts.

Yes.

I was in a bar last Saturday.

It was Polka Day at a local establishment and Big Bro is a BIG FAN, so we attached ourselves to him to share his glee

& just so you know, 

the tables were picnic style-ish
& that, right there !! should have been my first alert.

But.

I was lost in the joy.

I did not pay attention

& truth be told ?

I have a very bad habit of elbow leaning.

I know proper etiquette says 'SHAME !!' but, it is what it is, 

I bend in to talk

and my elbows are my tee, my balance, my go-to

& Yes.

After the polka fun was over, Family and I settled in my backyard to continue our revelry

& yep, there sat another picnic table.

yap yap yap

lean lean lean

eat

drink 

merry

! ! FUN ! !

Next day arrives.

What's this ?!??

Both of my elbows were sore and reddish 

& I think ....

Ohmygosh

BAR ELBOWS

& the reason I am telling you this quick, little story on the eve of a
L O N G,
fun filled,
outdoor packed,
spirit drinking,
summery feeling, holiday weekend ??

Watch out for those picnic tables, my peeps.

weeeeeeeee.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

 

Good Morning, Morning

I was sitting in my sitting spot for almost an hour, trying to figure out what to write.
WHAT. TO. WRITE.

You see, most days these words spill out so very easily.
They bubble, they burst, they flow, flow, flow
But, other days ?
oooooh,
other days 

uh huh

It's as if a dam has been set up inside my brain.

Nope.
Not today.

So.
I decided to take my biz outside
& now, I am placed at my picnic table, hoping for something to click.
Figure I'll just wait it out here and see what happens next.

It's chilly and a bit damp this morning but, that's ok, it'll warm up soon enough
& I absolutely adore that dewy a.m. scent !

ahhhhh

It's quiet.
So quiet.
Just the birds singing their lovely songs.
I see a blue jay,
a robin,
a hawk,
a couple crows 
and a cardinal.
I hear my Hee Hee bird with her teasing tune
& a determined woodpecker, hunkered down with his tap tap tapping.

The grass is so green.
The sky is waking up baby blue.

It's amazing how the blacks, whites and grays of Winter seem to hang around forever then suddenly,
poof !
just like that !
bright, beautiful colors are everywhere.

YaY

& that orange awesomeness in the sky ?
Yep
She is starting to do her thing.

Slowly.

S L O W L Y

Golly, I love this Earth,
this life.
Ain't it all sooooooo darn WONDERFUL ??!??

Every little everything reminds me of just how special THIS is and WE are.
If I choose, I can see it,
hear it,
taste,
breathe and touch it
every priceless second
of every single day.
I am genuinely humbled and infinitely inspired.

Good Morning, Morning

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Thank YOU. 

:)

I Am My Feelings

Pants On Fire

I googled 'liar' this morning.

Why ?
I was curious.

Why was I curious ?
Because stretchers of the truth have always intrigued me

& so,
I typed

 L I A R

& Google, with all it's wisdom replied,
'a person who tells lies'

uh
yep
but what else, Obvious ?
I need more.

1. someone who represents one set of facts, while knowing that a
different set of facts prevails;

2. (popular) someone who having led others to believe one thing, does
a different thing; a promise-breaker;

3. (colloquial) someone whose general conduct, level of reliability,
relationship with truth, and past performance leave him or her with
little to no credibility in peoples' opinion;



& then I took a stroll down Memory Lane, where all the doozies I have told live
& yes,
I did
& sometimes, still do.

White lies, mostly
& btw,

ˈˌ(h)wīt ˈlī/

noun

noun: white lie; plural noun: white lies

1. a harmless or trivial lie, especially one told to avoid hurting someone's feelings.

You know the deal.

I don't feel so good.

I already have plans for that day.

Something suddenly came up.

yeah

& I said those words with complete sincerity, I did

but, looking back now ?

I feel a barrage of guilt because a lie is still a lie.

Isn't it ?

Some days it seems the liars are everywhere

& I wonder, how can you do that ??

Who do you see in your mirror ?

How do you keep track ?

& why ?

why can't we, 

you, 

I 

simply be honest and speak our very own gospel ?

I know.

It's complicated

Or hurtful

or or or 

& oh ! what a tangled web we weave ...

& everybody does it 

& it's often easier

and and and 

Makes my head spin, it does.

Hey, here's a thought.

tro͞oTH/

noun

noun: truth

the quality or state of being true.

hmmm.

Sounds simple.

Sounds pleasant.

Sounds doable.

Sounds like it frees up the brain cells to enjoy these moments and cherish this journey called Life.

ahhhhh.

Truth.

! Truth !

I do believe I'd rather, Liar

as these just happen to be my very favorite pants

:)

I Am My Feelings 

Spread Sunshine

It's been rolling through my brain for three days now, set on replay
& replay
& replay

At this point, one would think I'd be searching for ways to make it cease.
Like, um,
maybe listen to Barry Manilow for awhile ... ? ...

hmmm

But, the crazy thing is, I don't mind.
At. All.
Truth be told, I'm actually kinda diggin it.

So get yourselves ready, my friends, as I ever so covertly pass this pleasant tune right on over to YOU.

- - - - - - - - - -

Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face!
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face!

- - - - - - - - - -

I won't sing the whole song as you can Google the remainder,
but, YaY
& thanks Bye Bye Birdie !
I'm certain you will continue to place a pep in my step as I mosey about my today

& seriously, why not ??

Going through life with a smile is so much more pleasing and appealing and just so darn NICE.
It's a magnet for Happy !
& who doesn't want to spend their hours surrounded by Happy ??

uh huh
No. One.

So do me a favor as you prep for your next 24.
Add sunshine to your list of to-dos
& spread that delightfulness every single everywhere you go.
I promise.
You will LOVE the results.

... gray skies are gonna clear up ...
... put on a happy face ....

:)

I Am My Feelings

For Always

Goodbye.

Good. Bye.

what an odd little utterance

I mean, I get it.
I am wishing you well as you go your way and I go mine but, but, but ...
maybe I don't want to leave you just yet
or ever

waaaaaaaa

I'm not very good at byes.
Never have been.
Back in the day, I'd have a terrible time.
Cry alllllll the way home is what I'd do, spend a dozen or so hours in a funky little funk too.
Fortunately, I've evolved with age.
Not that it hurts any less, I've just mastered the art of tucking away, of realizing

& no offense peeps, but Grandson farewells are the worse.
Eyes wide, teetering on the brink of tears, we look at each other and repeat our mantra.

"What do we say when it's time for goodbye ?"

"You always come back to me or I always come to you !! we ALWAYS see each other again !!" this wise, sincere voice exclaims and reminds
&
YaY !! we hug

because we know
and we do
and we will 
& as we walk in our opposite directions, we are confident and secure in that simple, solid trust.

Goodbye.

It's hard enough to say when it's expected,
when prepared.
when I know it's coming and am able to adjust.
But, when it comes out of nowhere ?
When time stops and the world is turned upside down ??
Where goodbye is so very final and the thought of moving on seems near impossible ??

Remember these indisputable words, my friends.
You always come back to me or I always come to you.

It's a promise.
A guarantee.

We will see each other
for always,
forever
again.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

Dancing with Jesus

'Rest in peace' is often said
While standing in a funeral line
A flower filled room of well dressed guests
To many, many seem fine

But when I reach those gates
And they open the doors
I don't plan to rest at all
'May I have this dance?' is what He'll say
As we glide past golden halls

And I'll be dancing with Jesus
Through a star lit night
We will laugh and talk and sing
There is so much to tell Him
So much to say
As I'm dancing with Jesus one day

We'll reminisce all the night
And the days beyond too
My wonderful friend and I
There will be no stress
No cares. No complaints.
How time really does fly by

As I'm dancing with Jesus
Through a star lit night
We will laugh and talk and sing
There is so much to tell Him
So much to say
As I'm dancing with Jesus one day

And the loved ones we'll see! The places we'll go!
As we walk in Heaven above
But I won't rest in peace
I'll be busy, you see
And filled with infinite love

And I'll be dancing with Jesus
Through a star lit night
We will laugh and talk and sing
There is so much to tell Him
So much to say
As I'm dancing with Jesus one day


:)

Yes, Love

A Royal Wedding.
A School Shooting.

These are the headlines as I rev up my laptop this morning
& in my quiet stillness,
miles upon miles away from both occurrences,
alone, I sit
puzzled
pondering

The contrast does it's best to consume my brain.
Light
Dark
Joy
Grief
Together
Alone

& I think why ?

Why all this fuss over two human beings getting married ?
&
Why oh why do certain souls hate so deeply ?

My heart, genuinely happy for the worldwide adoration felt for this young couple
yet broken
and confused
and tormented
again

& somewhere in the fogginess of my questioning thoughts,
chirp chirp
chirp chirp
chirp chirp
chirp chirp
Solitary and determined in the early morning darkness, I hear her most beautiful song.

She reminds.
She resonates.
She awakens and rejuvenates.

Yes, Love.
You're here.
You do.

You. Will.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

Diminish

The word keeps popping up,
in books,
in conversations,
in songs and commercials,
beckoning to be noticed, begging to be acknowledged
& so,
I do what I always do when this sort of wonderment appears,
I Google.

decrease, lessen, diminish, reduce, abate, dwindle mean to grow or make less. decrease suggests a progressive decline in size, amount, numbers, or intensity.

Yep.
That's what I figured you'd say Google.

so, yeah,
um, hey,
Diminish-er ?
uh huh

It's you.

Yes, I am talking to YOU today.

I'm really curious as to why you do what you do ?
You weaken.
You minify.
You squish and you squelch
& I just need to know why ??

I mean, does it make you feel more alive inside to take what isn't even yours and demean ?
Is that it ?
A power thing ?

Or is it a something you're lacking ?
A genuine factor that simply does not exist in your innermost self. 

hmmm.
I just don't get it. 
But, I sure wish you'd help me understand.

Because the way I see it,
you and I are wandering souls, 
placed upon this awesome planet, in a spectacularly gargantuan universe.
We are teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy beings
& if that's not enough to convince you of our unique and totally beautiful sameness ???

WOW
just wow

Want to know a secret, my belittling friend ?
I feel sorry for you.
I do.
Because you have no idea of the joy you are missing in this treasure called Life.
It's everywhere and everything, available to anyone and everyone
& it is right here,
RIGHT HERE
to be enjoyed and experienced
& how you cannot realize the absolute simplicity of it all is completely beyond me.

But.
Here's a thought, Diminish-er.
How's about you concentrate on YOU and I will pinpoint ME.
We can tidy up our own within-s and focus on our own awareness.
Because when you stop lessening me and begin the building of you ?
Amazing will forever, for always follow.

Guaranteed.

:) 

I Am My Feelings

 




 
 

Giggling Heads

"It made my head giggle !!" he enthusiastically squealed as he described in great detail just what had made his funny bone so tickley
& I thought, weeeeee !!
& yep,
it is true.
Since the minute Grandson uttered those priceless syllables, I have become over the top intrigued with the simpleness of that thought.

A giggly head.
Hey, I want one !

Why ?
Because I could take that giddy giggle-ness and alllllll it's wonderful feels and spread sunshine throughout the land.

Here's for you
& you
& you you you you and you !!

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

It made my head giggle.

YaY.

Here's to a WHOLE bunch of that today.

hee hee

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

Under My Sidewalk

Read by Ken Guidotti

I'm under my sidewalk
And here I will stay
Maybe a moment
Or maybe a day

It's safe and it's quiet
It lends my heart peace
Under my sidewalk
My happy release

I sit and I ponder
'bout life and such things
I hide from the noise
The world sometimes brings

My questions are answered
My mind is made clear
Simple contentment
I'll always find here

No worries or fretting
I'm fine and I'm free
Under my sidewalk
Is where I find me

I'm under my sidewalk
And here I will stay
Maybe a moment
Or maybe a day

:)

I Am My Feelings

Proud

Although I have many a reason to boast about this, that and the other, I don't.
I'm a keep it close to the vest type of gal.
The people who need to know I'm over the top delighted with them, know.
I tell them.
Often.

But.
This is Mother's Day, so be warned.
I am putting my showoff shoes on.

My peeps.

They have set their goals.
They have accomplished their goals
but, please be certain, they are nowhere near finish.
Their dreams are high  
&
I no doubt know they will achieve and succeed.

YaY.

But, that's not why I am so proud of them.
What makes me proudest has nothing to do with schools or degrees or material stuff or jobs or any that kind of thing.
Nope.
What I adore most about these people of mine ?
They are very wonderful human beings.
Good, solid, decent, kind, caring human beings.

They are Niceys
& you can't get much better than that.
And when you get right down to it, THAT is all that matters.

So today, I want to make it known throughout the land that my children really are the BEST of the best
& I am incredibly proud of the people they have become.

Happy Mother's Day ?
You better believe it !
I'm Happy every single day because of them.

I Boast ! ! !
I Brag ! ! !

I LOVE.

:)

I Am My Feelings

I Am Woman

To the women in my life on this Mother's Day Eve.
This one's for you.

--------------------

 "The women whom I've love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out.  They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it.  They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it.
Those women are my superheroes."

Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert.
Your words are awesome ! !
They express exactly how I feel about the women I have known throughout my life.

Grandmas, Mom, Aunts, Sisters.
Daughters, Nieces, Cousins, Friends ...
My hardworking, non stopping, strong willed, determined, loving, amazing women.

You took each day as it came.
You take each day as it comes.
The good, the bad, the in between.
You handled.
You manage.
You do.

Today I applaud each and every single one of you.
You shape me.
I am who I am because of You
& I very much appreciate your incredible life lessons.

It's been a privilege and a pleasure ladies !
& yes.
You ARE my superheroes.

For. Sure.

:) 

I Am My Feelings

Recycled

Some days, especially days when the doubter bug is flying around my brain, I wonder,
have I already said this ?
I am SURE I have written and relayed these exact same thoughts somewhere down this road before
& I suppose I have.
Many times, actually
and if you just so happen to be a loyal reader of this blog of mine, you know them well ...

Believe in possible.
Stay positive.
The light and bright are always there.
Everything happens for a reason.
Sign sign everywhere a sign.
Find your happy.
Follow your dream.
Listen to your heart.
Hope, Faith, Love.
Never give up.
Oh Yes I Can
& .... so on and so forth.

Um
Yeah

I guess I do tend to recycle certain this and that's but, honestly, I can't help myself.
If I'm feeling it, I'm following it
& YOU, my peeps, are the lucky recipients of my random rehash.

YaY

But, you know what ?
I LOVE saying the things I say and writing the words I write !!
Because

I DO believe in possible, it happens every day

&

I adore positive ! and I will continue to live in and search for the light and bright !!
Why in the world would I choose any other way ?!?

&

Everything DOES happen for a reason.
It's true.
The good, the bad, the ugly and the wonderful are alllll meant to teach us important life lessons.

&

Signs ???
You better believe signs are everywhere.
EVERY. WHERE.
Open up ! You'll see.

&

Find your happy, follow your dream, listen to your heart.
Yep. Yep & Yep.
If you can, do
& you CAN, so DO

&

Hope, Faith and Love
For always.
Forever.
Seek and you will surely find

&

Never give up.
For real.
Please don't stop.
Never. Ever. Ever.

&

Oh, Yes I Can
ooooooooooh ! ! ! YES, I CAN !
& I will
& I must.

I. MUST.

so, hey.
I guess if all these repeated words define me as an 'ahhhh geez ! there she goes again, haven't I heard this time and time before' offender ???

Oh. Well.

I have no plans to stop.

weeeeeeee.

:)


I Am My Feelings

Hitchin' A Ride

I just assumed it was against the law
& I honestly cannot remember the last time I've seen
but, according to Google, it's legal in 44 out of our 50 states.

Hitchhiking, that is
& truth be told, I am absolutely thrilled this unique form of wander still exists.

On our travels recently, Husband and I whizzed right on by three different people in three separate circumstances with that universal, side of the road sign.

After we passed and I got over the fact that we didn't stop to help a fellow human being,
the questions began
& oooooh, the questions.

Like ...

Why have I never, ever, not once picked up a hitchhiker ?
Even back in the day, where life is deemed "safe"
& yet, each time I turn my cheek and figure someone else will surely do, I always wish I could be that generous.

hmmmm

Seriously.
What are the odds ?
Serial Killer versus Someone in Need.
Million bucks says 99.9%  of the time, I'd be just fine.

hmmmm

Maybe it's because I love to hear people's stories.
How'd you get here ?
Where are you going ?
Tell me your background so I can ponder your history

& can somebody please tell me why I have never had the desire to hitchhike ?
& if handed the situation, I'd most likely decline a stranger's kindness and choose to walk to Point B ?
Why ??!??
um
errr
Obviously, I have trust issues as I'm certain I'd be in that itsy bitsy, teeny tiny percentile who encountered the Serial Killer.

boooooo

or what if I do pick up that random person and they are going to the exact town I'm going to which happens to be 48 hours away ?
Is it too late to say 'but, I don't want to be with you THAT long, geez, I was thinking 10 miles, tops'

hmmmm

& what if a police officer happens by ?
Do they stop, inquire, handle the move or just leave the thumbster to his own biz ?

hmmmm

Maybe it goes back to my hobo days as I am convinced I was one in another lifetime but, golly hitchers, you've really got my brain waves fluttering
& if offered another random act of kindness opportunity to pull over and have you hop on in .... ?
I kinda, sorta sure hope my impulse is !! YES !!
& you're nice.
I'm nice
& we're both just riding through this life, seeking nice.

:)

I Am My Feelings  
 

Ain't No Mountain

I took notice as our Wave made it's way past START.
Two ladies, two sizes.
One walking with ease, one knowing this might be a struggle.

13.1 miles.
Ok.
Here we go.

They kept pace with Sister and I, sometimes ahead, sometimes behind
& in my mind, I dubbed them Determined and Casual.
Casual there to support her friend.
Determined with head down, very in tune with her journey.

As our walking progressed and body aches made themselves known, I'd glance at Determined every now and again and wonder how she was doing.
It can't be easy, it isn't easy but, there she and her pal were at each and every turn.
Casual talking a calm talk.
Determined getting it done.

Sis and I lost track of this duo somewhere in the pursuit of the finish line but, I have no doubt they made it.
I just sooooo wish I could have witnessed their !!!!! moment.

YAY

Determined is hunkered in my brain as I begin this Tuesday morning
& I have a feeling her and her drumbeat will be there for a very long while.

Keep walking. Keep walking. Keep walking.
No matter the distance.
No matter the pain.
No matter the mountain or those that insist impossible.

Believe.
Stay on path.
Remain steadfast, focused.
Power through, one day, one instant at a time.
&
Slowly.
Surely.

Hey, Determined and Casual ?
Oh YES, we Can.
ooooooo YES, we DID.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

Bright

I try not to spend too much time watching the news or paying attention to who's doing what on the internet.
Most days, it's an overabundance of negative.
Doubtful words.
Ugly actions.
It's endlessly depressing.

Boo.

But, there was a time when I did allow all that doomy, gloomy, mucky stuff in.
I welcomed it.
I surrendered to it
& I gave it permission to consume my head and my heart with every single bit of it's continual icky-ness.

yikes

YIKES.

Not anymore.

I'm not quite sure how it happened.
I'm not quite sure when it happened.
I believe I just woke up one day
& I'm so very happy that I did.
Because on that day & since that day I have been trying to live ALL my days in positive.

I make a conscious, daily choice to stay in the affirmative
& you wanna know a secret ?
I really, really like it over here.
It's so nice and fun and cheery.
& the strange thing is, once I made that decision to hunker down in positive, positive just seemed to follow.

I look at everything different now.
Everything.
Because I anticipate positive
& I've noticed when I seek the bright I will find the bright because the bright is always there.
Even in the most negative of negative situations.
That brightness is ALWAYS there.

So why am I rambling on about my sunshiny views, yet again, this morning ?
Because I'm thinking maybe someone who is reading this just might be cluttered up in dismal  
& I'm hoping my words will help.

Seriously & Simply.
Do not allow that negative in.
Don't let it pick at your brain.
Tell it to go away.
Take that broom and Sweep. It. Out.
Just sweep it out.
Make the decision to find the positive in everything and you WILL find the positive in everything
& once you find that happy, it will change your outlook, your attitude, your life.

It Will ! It Will ! It Will !

Starting here.
Beginning now.

Try bright.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

 

One America

Sister and I walked 13.1 miles yesterday.
Yep.
'Tis the first weekend of May and #IndyMini has become our tradition.
It's what we love.
It's what we do
but to say we are in it simply to collect those steps would be an incredible understatement.

Happy Land.

There is no better way to describe
& if you've never had the pleasure of experiencing the pure joy of it all, I insist, you MUST !!
because the positive energy surrounding a marathon is like no other.

People and people and more people walking and laughing and chatting and talking.
Filled to the brim with glee and kindness,
hospitality and friendship.

Santa Claus was there, all dressed up and jolly
& as we began this long walk of ours ?
Yeah.
Oh Yeah.

The Jesus high fivers.
The bag pipe guy
The cloggers, polka boys, square dancers
& band after band after band, volunteering their precious time to keep us determined participants entertained and motivated.

Walking through the neighborhoods is my favorite.
Families and kids with pots and pans and any kind of noisemaker you can think of sitting in their front yards cheering for these crazy strangers who insist upon running the run and walking the walk.

New this year was the Gold Star Mile.
Pictures, faces, time standing still.
One solid stretch on the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
Our reminder of those who gave it all for us, for this place we call home.
Solemn.
Heartbreaking.
Humbling.
Unifying.

The Diana Ross lookalike ?
We look forward to her beautiful sparkle because at that point in this ever so tedious trek her brightness elevates
& we realize ...
Oh Yes.
Yes we can.

& just when we think this 13.1 will never, ever, EVER end there is the man before the bridge.
Every year.
Every time.
"You're almost there. You're almost there."
He doesn't know this but, I love him so.

People.
Oh people.
Your simple acts, your genuineness, your sincerity.
You are my annual keepsake.

I applaud.
I appreciate.
I KNOW we are truly one, America. 

YaY US.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Wonderful Wonderful

It's been brought to my attention, by an oh so observant somebody, that my go-to,
my favorite,
my used many times and more than once, must say word is ....

WONDERFUL

I CAPITALIZED !! because I love it so
& I googled, to be schooled  ...

won·der·ful

ˈwəndərfəl/

adjective

adjective: wonderful

1. inspiring delight, pleasure, or admiration; extremely good; marvelous.

   
   

   "they all think she's wonderful"

   
   

   synonyms:

   marvelous, magnificent, superb, glorious, sublime, lovely, delightful; More informalsuper, great, fantastic, terrific, tremendous, sensational, incredible, fabulous, fab, out of this world, awesome, magic, wicked, far out, killer, brilliant, peachy, dandy, neat, swell

&  talk about uplifting and happy !!

weeeeeeeee

Why wouldn't one want to describe the gift of life this way ? !! ?

So.
Do me a favor, please.

Today.

Try WONDERFUL.

Feel WONDERFUL.

Do WONDERFUL.

Talk WONDERFUL.

Act WONDERFUL.

BE. WONDERFUL

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I promise, 

marvelous, magnificent, superb, glorious, sublime, lovely, delightful, super, great, fantastic, terrific, tremendous, sensational, incredible, fabulous, fab, out of this world, awesome, magic, wicked, far out, killer, brilliant, peachy, dandy, neat and swell are patiently waiting for YOU

& isn't that just wonderfully WONDERFUL ? !! ?

:)

I Am My Feelings 

Just Singin'

A flash of lightning.
A rumble of thunder
& rain.
Lots of rain.

YaY

Oooooooo, I love me a good Spring storm.
The scents ! The sights! The sounds !
Yep.
 I could listen to that lovely rhythm allllll day long.

But wait.
What ??
Right smack dab in the middle of this continuous drumming I hear a teeny, tiny, oh so persistent voice.

chirp chirp chirp
chirp chirp chirp

How weird.
It sounds so out of place, given the circumstances.
It's kinda seriously relentless out there, little fella.

tweet tweet tweet
tweet tweet tweet

Why Helloooooo to you too, Mr Happy !
How FUN !

That rain kept on raining.
That songster kept on serenading
& then ...
Yeah.
I got it.

Life hands you some showers ?
Sing.

Life turns it up a notch with a dose of the heavier stuff ?
Keep. Singing.

Life hands you a full blown storm ?
Yep.
There's most definitely a song for that too.

Thank you for the sweet lesson in determination, my pint-size, steadfast friend
& please keep singing your wonderful song
'cause I hear ya, baby.
I soooooooo hear you.

! ! ! la la la LAAAAAA ! ! !

:)

I Am My Feelings