Copycat

I've heard the word copycat more times this weekend than I ever have in my life.
I saw two cats aimlessly roaming the street yesterday
&
I had a dream about one of those old time, monster copy machines last night.
It was my job to fix it.
And fix it I did.

weird.

So now, I'm wondering what's up with that ?
Am I suppose to copy something ?
Fix something ?
Feed the cat ?
Who's cat ?

hmmmm.

I remember irritatingly uttering  "stop copying me !" multiple times during my youth.
Which would almost always open the door to immediate imitation by my mimic.

No
"No"

Seriously.
"Seriously"

Stop.
"Stop"

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! Tell him to stop copying me !
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! Tell him to stop copying me !"

& then, in my teens, twenties and even thirties I became the one doing the copying.
The latest trends.
Bandwagons.
Hairstyles.

(although, I must say, I did look pretty awesome with that Barbra Streisand 'A Star Is Born" fro ...)

But, along with age came wonderful knowledge and lovely acceptance.
Acceptance of me.
By me.

& although it's said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
I kind of enjoy this thing called my way.

YaY.

Copy me ?
Copy you ?
Copy that, cat.

:) 

I Am My Feelings

Art

My brother and I have this thing we do way too much.
But, it amuses us
& we are very easily amused.

He will email, then text me to announce his incoming email.
I'll reply then text him, to alert of my approaching response.

Yeah.
Weird.
But, this time, we have a legit reason for this particular weirdness.
& a name.

We call it "Art".

Art is a man Brother once had the pleasure of working with ...
& it seems Art would "Art" all the time.

You see, Art was unfamiliar with the internet world.
A doubter of technology was he.
Unsure of his computer and all it's abilities.

Art didn't figure an email could travel from his desk to another at record speed.
So, he would text my bro to double check the safe arrival of his words.

Brother and I so enjoyed the innocence of Arthur's Arthurness that we became somewhat obsessed with the man and his legend.
& so ..
We "Art"

I've been known to expand the art of arting a bit.
Sometimes, after putting a FaceBook status up for all to see, I will text to ask my sibling to "Like" it.
I figure at least then I get one thumbs up ! instead of zero.
I feel dorky if I get zero.

&
Since I've acknowledged our Art quirks ...
Here's another one for your enjoyment.

Have you ever noticed the FaceBook "poke" ?
Brother and I have.
He and I have poked and repoked 450+ times.
Why ?
Because it's there.
We sometimes worry there is a maximum poke limit.
Sure hope not.
That would be a bummer.

Art.

He's taken Bro and I to places we never thought to go
Made us ponder the imponderable 
It's because of Art we often wonder ...

Would you rather text someone who never responds 
or send a text to a never ending text conversationalist ?

hmmm.
hmmmmmmm.
hmmmmmmmmmmm .......

:)

I Am My Feelings

First

I remember the day well.
It was Good Friday.
37 years ago today.

Mom, Dad and a few of the siblings were headed to New York for Easter
& while the cats were away, the mice were going to play.

Party at Jacki's.
The parents are gone.
woooo wooooo.

My older sister happened to be very pregnant at the time.
Very.
But, nobody seemed too stop everything ! anxious about this baby's any moment now arrival.

Mom and Dad had a plan.
Quick run to enjoy Easter with the family, pack up Gramma and bring her to meet her newest great grandchild.

I had a plan.
Party.

I'm not quite sure what my sister and bro in law's plans were that day.
Maybe they were coming to my awesome party.

But, Baby Boy had a plan too.
He decided to be born on that Good Friday afternoon.

.............
& this is the part of the story where I say WHAT in the WORLD were we THINKING ??

But, before I continue ..
I feel I must add this fyi.
Back in the day, the only people allowed in the hospital room with Baby and Mama were Husband and Grandparents.
Auntie, aka Godmother, was not on the VIP list.

So there.
At least I have that little smidge of an excuse to hang my hat on.
............

Mom waited until her daughter and grandson were in the recovery room
& she insisted on speaking to this brand new mama to hear for herself that all was fine.
But, there was no hospital visit that day.
The New York plans were already in motion, so off they drove to pick up Gramma.

Wait.
There's more.

My party plans were in high gear at that point.
There was no stopping us now.

So, yep
We partied.
Fun times were had by all that Good Friday night.

Brand New Papa even came by after the hospital to have some congratulatory brews
& somewhere in the glee we decided to call my very tired, overwhelmed sister to inform her of all the fun we were having ...

Years later Sister told me, after she hung up the phone that night, she cried.
She cried !

You know what they say about hindsight and 20/20 vision ....?....

Yeah.
Oh Yeah.
I'm still kicking myself for this one.

!! Ouch !!

Sister and I laugh about it now
& for years we teased Mom that she left town when her first grandchild was born.
Mom would say times were different back then so hush ....!...
So hush we did.
Until the next teasing time.

& yes.
Times were different back then.
Very different.
But, to this day, I'm still trying to figure out how I could abandon my sister, my Godchild AND have a party on Good Friday.

GOOD. FRIDAY.

I know. I know.

!! Ouch !!


:)

I Am My Feelings

Signs

I have an odd little fess up today.
Well, it might seem odd to you but, it's normal to me.
So perfectly normal
& very, very wonderful.

When someone I love leaves this world to move on to the next, I receive multiple
..... & I mean multiple  .....
signs that my person is ok.
It happens all the time
& it's pretty awesome stuff.

My mom has sent so many signs that she is ok, that I am 100% certain that she is perfectly, beautifully, totally ok.
The first days and months after she left ...oh my gosh...the signs were everywhere.
A dream hug, a perfectly timed song, a lost picture that suddenly appeared, a scent, a split second vision.
 
It was amazing.

My family actually started a 'sign book' just to remember all these cool little things she was showing us
& she continues to show us.
Eight years later and it still is amazing.

I imagine everyone who loses someone they love receives signs.
You just have to open your heart, your mind, your eyes, your ears ...
The signs are everywhere.
& I am positive if you allow yourself to be open to them, you will see them.

I do hope you see them.
Because it is a spiritual gift just waiting to be found.

It is a gift that will comfort you.
A gift that will soothe your soul.
A gift that will help your heart feel happy again.

Guaranteed.

:)

I Am My Feelings

a little boy turns one

This past week has been one of the craziest weeks I've ever experienced.
From one Thursday to the next.
7 days.
&
whoa.
What is happening here...?..

It has been a week of confusion, heartbreak, mixed emotions, hard decisions, changed plans, nervous anticipation, what to do, how to do it ....
&on&on&on&on&on&on&on&on

SHHHHHHHH
Just shhhhhh brain.

Because we are at today.
And today, a little boy I love turns one year old.

He will wake up with his happy morning, excited to be here glee.
He will spend his day in simple wonderment and discovery.
He will clap and giggle and talk and play.
He will hear a birthday song sung just for him.
He will eat a cupcake, open presents
& he will clap, clap, clap again.

& in his own little way, he will celebrate the joy of being.
Here.
Today.

Yep.
A little boy turns one year old today
& that little fact has just put everything else in perspective.

Happy 1st Birthday Mr Happy.
I love you so.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Apple Trees

There are some days when I wake up with a whole lot of whys in my head.
Today is one of those days.

Last night I was told of the sudden death of a much too young person.
Which brings to three times, in this still youthful 2015, I have received news from someone I love that someone they love has unexpectedly, inexplicably died.
A world flipped over.
A heart crushed.

What do I say ?
How do I help ?
What words can I muster up that can possibly ease such ache ?

The only words I have are the words I will forever repeat.
Jesus
& Hope.

I don't know how else to get to the other side of pain.
The other side of WHY ?
There is no other way.
At least in my head.

Because even if I don't understand the why I do understand the hope.
And with Jesus comes hope.
And healing.

Martin Luther said it best.
His wonderful quote has been repeated in my mind many, many times.
It especially helps on the tougher days.

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."

I think I would plant a couple.
I just would not, do not know how to survive any other way.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Fess Up JAWS

I don't watch tv all that much anymore
It's probably because when I hunker down with my pillow, blanket, recliner and show I am usually sound asleep a whole five minutes later.

zzzzzzzzzz
never mind.

But, in this house, the television is usually on whether it's being watched or not.
& since the man who controls the remote has been known to occasionally stop on some pretty decent movie channels, I have decided I must spill a truth and reveal my secret.

Whenever JAWS is the movie on one of those movie channels, I will stop everything and watch.
Stop. Everything. And. Watch.
I can't help myself.
Something takes over my brain
& the JAWS zombie trance strikes, yet again.

Time after time, I will cease whatever I am doing and spend the next hour or two watching this movie.
This movie that I have seen a million, zillion times.

I don't know why I must always watch JAWS but, I must always watch JAWS
& so
I do.
&
I do.
&
I do.

Not JAWS 2, 3, 4, 5 , 6, ...or however many sequels were made.
Only the original.
Nothing will ever top the original.
I hope the powers that be never, ever even think about a remake.
Do not tamper with this perfect classic, movie makers.
Don't you do it.

Yep.
Chief Brody. Hooper. Quint.
The unseen shark.
The music.
I am so hooked.

ha.
hooked.

JAWS.
It's my # 1, never to be topped, can't stop watching, favorite movie obsession of all time.

My eyeballs will forever remain open for this one.
For Sure.

Fess.
Fess.

:)

I Am My Feelings