Hey ! Whistlers ! !

Isn't she lovely ?

I thought so too, that's why I took this picture
& although I was quite smitten by her beauty, it was the sound coming from within that screech !! stopped me in my tracks.

It was a symphony, I tell ya
A perfectly timed and wonderfully tuned chorus of chirp chirp chirps and tweet tweet tweets.

YaY ! I happily exclaimed 
& although I could not see them, not even one,
trust me,
there was definitely a party going on.
A welcome home, glad to be back celebration, for sure.

Which got me to thinking about whistling.
yep
whistling
Those little lovelies and their simple merriness brought to mind all the whistlers I have crossed paths with throughout my life.

Big Brother is one.
I am convinced he was a bird in another lifetime.
Tweet and twitter are his second nature and I often wonder if he even realizes he is serenading.
Like the softness of a flute, music uninhibitedly escapes his lips.
This irritates and agitates the you know what out of some people who shall remain nameless but, I can honestly say, I don't mind at all.
I find it pleasantly pleasing, actually

& then there's Friend.
He does too.
His is more of a peppy, jazzy, carefree sonnet

& that lady I once worked with, back in the day
or that guy I see every so often on my walking path
or the gal in the restaurant
or the clerk at the store ... 

Hey ! Whistlers !!
I've never really noticed you and your background choir until this very moment of this very day
& seriously.
How FUN is that ??!??

You go right ahead and
toot
tootle
pipe
warble
whine
trill
hoot
fife
&
wheeze your way through life.

I may not always see but, rest assured, I most definitely hear 
& just so you know ?
I soooooo appreciate your glee.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

Opera Man

I was walking my walk yesterday when a man came along.
A singing man
& yes, he sounded quite lovely !

This was not the first time I've crossed paths with a songster.
Every once in awhile someone who just can't keep those tunes contained, happily strolls on by.
Lost in their own little world, they vocalize, hum or quietly mouth their songs.
But this guy, oh he was more than that.
Much more.
This guy was operatic.
Loud, proud and enthusiastically operatic.

I heard him long before I saw him, which was a pretty amazing feat since my own awesome jingles were bursting within my ears
& at first I thought, 'what the heck ??'
but then, he appeared
& I knew.
oooooooo yeah.
I knew.
Here comes a crooner.

YaY

He was a smiling, acknowledging tenor.
He looked my way, handed me a cheerful grin, hit that note and went about his way.

weeeee

I've officially crossed paths with a minstrel

& THAT is my wish for you on this brand new today.

A composition.
A show tune
& medley of notes dancing through your brain.

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

Be an enthusiastic serenader.
Be the carefree songbird.
Be that balladeer of bliss.

Be unconstrained, uninhibited, pure Happy
&
Don't be afraid to share your song,
your joy,
your uniqueness.

share.
Share.
SHARE

 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

fyi,
I just sang that
& ummm
I sounded kinda GREAT.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Who Are You

April 15, 2016

That's the day I first wrote these words
& one (aka me)
would think they would be, should be L O N G forgotten by now.
But, Life.
Oh, Life.

"... Who Are You is my daily reminder that God put you in my life to help me in this journey ..."
said the sweet, encouraging soul I am fortunate to call, Friend.

Little did she know, I was planning on rerunning this very blog today, figuring no one would notice.

My heart = Humbled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So.
I get up after a good night's sleep
& shuffle to the bathroom to do my thing.
I take a look in the mirror and most days, I'm ok with the person staring back at me.

YaY

I go about my day.
I see people.
They see me
& I'm assuming they see the same person I see.
I'm hoping this me I offer is the same me I see in that mirror each morning.

Which got my mind asking.
I wonder what others see when they look at me ?

Am I true
or do I change things around a bit to fit their thinking ?
Am I likeable on the outside but, truth be told, somewhat ugly on the inside ?
Am I a phony ?
Am I genuine ?
Am I my very own self ?

The Me, Myself and I self.
The person staring back in the mirror self.
The person I have to live with self.

hmmmm.

Maybe it's the writing of this blog that brings out my need for transparency
but, if you don't mind, do me this one little favor ...
As you wander into your bathroom and take a look at the you staring back at you
Take notice
& ask yourself if the world gets to see that very same person.

I hope so for me
& I hope so for you too.

:)

I Am My Feelings

We

A flash of before
In your eyes I can see
I've been here with you
You've been here with me

'Twas destiny, fate
And our instant began
A lifetime ago
A lifetime again

You're forever my moment
&  for always we'll be
Continued in time
Endlessly, we

Unbroken, connected
Is how we will stay
Hour by hour
And day after day

I know I will find you
Again and again
So strong is our bond
Complete, without end

You're forever my moment
& for always we'll be
Continued in time
Endlessly, we

No sorrow or sadness
Will separate us
We're ashes to ashes
Dawn until dusk

You're forever my moment
& for always we'll be
Continued in time
Endlessly, we

:)

Porch

I just now googled that one syllable wonder.
Why  ?
Because I find it such an odd little word.

Porch.
"A covered entrance to a building, usually with a separate roof"

Yep.
That sounds about right.
Google might want to add 'and one of the very best places on Earth' though,
'cause it is.
It so is.

Do people still sit on their front porch ?
hmmmm
I wonder.

Back in the day, we had no choice.
"Go outside and play" was my generation of parents go to, which was fine.
The siblings and I were usually outside anyways.
It's where we wanted to be, everyone was there.

Go outside and play.

Most parents didn't inform us kids where to go or what exactly to play.
They said to do it so, we did it.
We exited the house.
We played.
How incredibly simple life was back then.

On those rare occasions when not too much was going on in the neighborhood, brothers, sisters and I would sit on our front porch and watch that world go by ...

ahhhhh.

A car or two, a neighbor, a wandering dog.
Just a whole lotta nothing
& then a friend would magically appear.
YaY
& off we'd hop, skip and jump to that oh so awesome world of playing outside.

That front porch got a lot of action through the years.
It was our gathering place.
The I'm glad, sad, mad, confused, just leave me alone or everybody join me place.
Games were invented, played, reinvented and played again and again sitting on that porch.
Secrets were shared there.
Pictures were taken.
Body parts hurt.
Patience learned.
Memories made.

"Go outside and play" they said.
That was some mighty fine back in the day advice, Grownups.
I'm so happy we obliged.
Because we found our buddies, ourselves and countless life lessons on those four concrete steps.
Our porch.

Porch.
What a beautiful little word.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Dear Courage

noun

noun: courage

tthe ability to do something that frightens one.

"she called on all her courage to face the ordeal"

strength in the face of pain or grief.

"he fought his illness with great courage"

synonyms:

bravery, courageousness, pluck, pluckiness, valor, fearlessness, intrepidity, nerve, daring, audacity, boldness, grit, true grit, hardihood, heroism, gallantry;

Thank you for reminding me of who
and why
and how you roll.

You didn't ask,
you weren't offered a choice.
Life and it's often unpredictable ways handed you this unwanted, untraveled road.

No instruction.
No manual.
No what to do next.
Nope.
Here you go, figure it out

& you stepped up, Courage.
Despite every single everything you may be feeling inside
you didn't,
you don't,
you won't and you can't back down.
Quitting is impossible because you listen to your heart
& no matter the stress or circumstance, you KNOW your heart will lead, will guide, will always find the way.

I hope you realize how beautiful you are, Courage.
You are a powerhouse, an incredible, uniting, odds defying force
& I soooooo appreciate the lessons you teach.

Never doubt your awesomeness
& please,
from now until forever, Courage

Keep. Doing.

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

Sure, It's

Early.

Cold
or snowy
or rainy
or cloudy
or some form of icky outside.
 
Wednesday
What ?!??
gaaaaa
Only Wednesday.

Not easy

and and and and and

& anything else I'd like to add to my mountain of complaints.

Sure, it's ...

Awful.
Just AWFUL
& it's going to stay that way.
If that's the way I choose.

Mom called them 'gloomy days'.
January.
February.
The dead of Winter.
Holidays are over.
There's nothing to look forward to ...

HO-HUM

No place to go.
Nothing to do.

It's just another gloooooooomy day.

Oh Mom.
You know I love you dearly but, that kind of dismal talk did and still drives me absolutely coo cooooooo.

Sure, it's ...
Early.

Look out that window.
Chances are a beautiful something awaits your eyeballs !

& sure it's ...
Cold or snowy or rainy or cloudy or some form of icky outside.

It's Winter
& that's what Winter does.
The season of patience is just testing our patience.

& sure it's ...
Thursday.

How's about a nice round of applause for halfway there.
YaY

& sure it's ...
Not easy.

But, sometimes, MOST times it is very easy
& good.
Real good.

Sure, it's ...
A gloomy day ?!?

No. Way.

Today can be anything I want it to be
& I want it to be delightfully wonderful.

For. Sure.

:)

I Am My Feelings

She's My Sister

We were walking to the local 7-11, which was only a few short blocks from our house.
I'm pretty sure we were on our way to buy the Sunday morning paper on a Saturday evening but, I could be wrong.
Maybe we were bored.
Maybe we had a hankering for candy bars or a Slurpee ... who knows.
But, there we were.

Sitting in the back of 7-11 was a big, smelly dumpster
& as we walked by, we noticed a man.
I, in my adolescent dummy-ness had no idea what that man could possibly be doing beside the dumpster.
But, my big sister knew.
Sister yelled out a sudden, angry spill of "you sick #!@$%#!", grabbed my hand and marched us straight inside the store to the lady at the counter.
Lady called police.
Police introduced themselves to perv
& we walked safely back home with our newspaper, candy bars, Slurpee
or all of the above.

Why this memory came back this week is beyond me.
I'm figuring it's because today is her birthday.

Another recently recalled flashback was the time Big Sister and I took a bus trip to see our 500 miles away family.
I don't remember much from the ride there or the visit itself but, the ride home sits cozily in my brain.

The bus had paused at a rest stop where Sister and I got off to stretch our legs.
Upon reentering, the driver double checked with each rider as to where we were headed.
I got back on before Sister
& somewhere in this fuzzy memory of mine, I can see the man looking at me and mumbling "Chicago ?"
& I think in all my timid naivete I said "Yes" or nodded my head 
or some other goofy goof like that.
Bus Driver knew Sis and I were traveling together, so he probably didn't ask her the same question.

Anyways, long story short ...
the bus zoomed by our designated stop and headed to Chicago.

My big sister was right on it.
She jumped up and made her way to Mr. Bus Driver with a 'Wait ! Whoa ! !'
& much to the chagrin of our fellow passengers, the bus turned around and took us to our stop, our parents.
whew.
Mom, Dad, Sister, even I couldn't figure out why that bus flew past our destination.
Until this week.
ummmm.
I do believe it was me.
ooops.

She's my 'I'll take you down if I have to' Protector.
My Voice when I don't know what to say.
My 'Oh YES, you can' Reminder-er.
& my 'I can tell something's wrong cause you didn't use exclamation points in your email' Cheer-er Upper.
I sometimes think she knows me better than I know me.

Happy Birthday, Big Sister.
I'm so glad you're mine.

:)

I Am My Feelings

The Wave

ALL I keep thinking about lately is The Wave.

It is there in the morning as I am sipping my coffee.
It cozies up to me and my lunchtime pbj
& it continues to pester as I am nighttime dozing on my recliner.

the wave
the wave
the wave

& so,
I do what I always do when Insistent calls.
I Google.
Because Google knows best.


 The wave (known as the Mexican wave in the English-speaking world outside North America) is an example of metachronal rhythm achieved in a packed stadium when successive groups of spectators briefly stand, yell, and raise their arms. Immediately upon stretching to full height, the spectator returns to the usual seated position.
The result is a wave of standing spectators that travels through the crowd, even though individual spectators never move away from their seats. In many large arenas the crowd is seated in a contiguous circuit all the way around the sport field, and so the wave is able to travel continuously around the arena; in discontiguous seating arrangements, the wave can instead reflect back and forth through the crowd. When the gap in seating is narrow, the wave can sometimes pass through it. Usually only one wave crest will be present at any given time in an arena, although simultaneous, counter-rotating waves have been produced.<sup>[1]


Google goes on to inform me of the who's and when's and how's and allll about The Wave's origin
& if I could, I would pass out a whole lotta hugs to those enthusiastic pioneers of pure FUN.

weeeeeeee

& although I know plenty of people who are not fans, I ADORE The Wave and will participate each and every time opportunity knocks

& go ahead and call them 'a bunch of drunks' but, I am forever intrigued by those that start The Wave
& the thought process and harmonizing of others that follow. 
It's cooperation at it's best, if you ask me. 
Strangers.
Complete and total strangers all coming together to create an awesome moment of pure joy
& if that ain't beautiful, I sure don't know what is !!

So.
What's my point ?? you so patiently ponder. 

Be that someone who starts a wave.
A wave of Happy.
A wave of Kindness.
A wave of Hopeful and Helpful and Love.

Do it in your own unique style and your own genuine time but BE that beginner. that arranger, that organizer.
Synchronize your little corner of our wonderful world
& I'll do the same
& so will he
& she 
& they 
& them.

I promise you.
We will bloom.
We will blossom.
We will change 
& ours will be THE BEST metachronal rhythm ever.

I'll be starting mine today.</sup>

! ! YaY ! !

<sup>:)

I Am My Feelings</sup>

Simple Things

The simple things remind me  
Of beauty everywhere
A word, a smile, a gentle touch
Beauty can be shared

The simple sounds remind me
Of happiness around
A bird, a giggle, a baby's sigh
Happy can be found

The simple signs remind me
Of hope in every day
A thought, a prayer, a miracle
Hope is here to stay

The simpleness reminds me
To seek and I shall find
Beauty, happiness, wonderful hope
Love
So simply kind

:) 

Rachel's Challenge

The Cubs' Anthony Rizzo, a graduate of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, fought through tears as he delivered a heartfelt speech at a vigil held for Wednesday's shooting victims.

  @SportsCenter tweeted, along with a video clip
& after watching this kind soul express his innermost sincerity, my very first, gut reaction was
'maybe it's Anthony Rizzo'

You see, after every tragedy in these United States of America, I find myself searching for a hero.
Someone who will step up.
Someone who was touched or hurt so deeply that they decide ENOUGH.
THEY will be the one to begin a domino effect
& everything changes because of THIS human in THIS moment.

I realize that's a lot of pressure to put on Anthony Rizzo with the continuum of hate that fills the world, but I am forever hoping to find that spark.
That presence
That champion.

Yesterday, I came across two pages of a magazine that I had tucked away many years ago.
They were words from the Reader's Digest, written by Darrell Scott, father of Rachel Scott.
Rachel Scott was one of the many killed on April 20, 1999 at Columbine High School.
In this article, Darrell Scott shared his love for his daughter and his pain of that day to the families of September 11th,
trying to ease their grief as only someone who knows their heartache can.
He quoted Rachel and the challenge she wrote in her journal a month before she died.

"I dare to believe that I can start a chain reaction through acts of kindness and compassion."

& this broken man went on to explain how he continues to live by his daughter's words.

Kindness.
Compassion.

Has anyone noticed how people wholeheartedly accept Rachel's challenge each and every single time suffering arrives ?
We live It.
We breathe it.
We ARE it.

You.
Me.
US.

But why only then
& why do we stop ???

Today, I accept your dare Rachel, because I too believe your chain reaction
would be,
could be,
WILL BE so beautifully staggering
if each of us only continue,
if each of us simply try.

Thank You for your inspiration
& you too, Anthony Rizzo
you both have helped me realized, I am the hero I so desperately seek.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Thoughts and Prayers

I know we mean well
& honestly, what else can we say when we are brought to our knees, yet again.

Thoughts.
Prayers.

Thoughts. And. Prayers.

We repeat.
We hashtag,
We STAY STRONG encourage.

We listen to names, view faces, hear stories.
We half-mast our flag.
We pause.
We mourn.
We carry on

& then,
it happens again
& again
& again.

No offense, Thoughts and Prayers but, I am so SO tired of you
& I am finding it near impossible to fathom why living on this planet is so damn difficult for some
& why Hate is so boldly and consistently showing off it's ugliness.

Oh, Love.
I know you're out there.
Please, PLEASE.
Send US your thoughts,
hand US your prayers
Help us understand.

♥

I Am My Feelings

Hey Valentine

There is a hopeless romantic that lives inside of me.
She makes an appearance every once in awhile through my poems
& she gets all slobbery and sentimental when a good ole love story happens her way.

Then she retreats
& there she stays until whenever.
Until the next time.
Until she decides to emerge again
& one would think on Valentine's Day, of all days, she'd be out and about and all happy and yippee and ewwy gooey.

Uh.
Nope.

This might sound kinda sorta bummer-ish but, Valentine's Day is my least favorite "holiday".

SAY WHAT ??!??

I. KNOW.
It's blasphemy.

But, it's true
& you want to know why ?

Because it seems so darn forced.
It's Valentine's Day so buy me a gift.
It's Valentine's Day so I need to get you a card.
It's Valentine's Day so where's the box of chocolates and flowers ?
It's Valentine's Day so the whole wide world needs to love. 

Valentine's Day always makes me feel if I don't do or I don't get or don't go all giddy ..
well geez
What's up with THAT ??
You're SUPPOSED to !

Well Valentine, it just doesn't work that way for me and my hopelessly romantic self.
Tell me yesterday.
Or show me tomorrow.
I would much rather a just because.
Just because.

I know you love me and I love you and we allllll love each other today because it's your day, Valentine
but, how about next Tuesday ?
or a month from now  ?
or six months from now ?
Will we still feel that head over heels glee when we are not reminded that hey ! it's Valentine's Day !!

ugh

& I'd say maybe I'm just getting old and cranky but, I've always felt this way.

Don't require it, Valentine.
Feel it.
Today, tomorrow and every single day that follows.

You are the definition of LOVE, Valentine, so this year, THIS time, stick around please.
Remind us.
Love is always in the air.
It's here.
It's now.
It's forever.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day, Valentine.
Enjoy your day and your show but don't you dare concern yourself with me, fella.
You know I will continue to write about you
& you better believe, I see you
& I'll see you tomorrow
& next Tuesday
& six months from now
& in every teeny tiny, randomly wonderful just because.

Just because.

:)

I Am My Feelings

It

There's a real good possibility I will make it back to my walking trail today.
YaY
It has been waaaaay toooooo long since I've had that pleasure
& I seriously cannot come up with enough words to describe how cheery this ole heart feels.

I don't know what it is.
I don't know why it is.
But, something about that place just assures my soul, Oh Yes, It Is.
It is !

& I may or may not see maybe ten people out there ?
Maybe.
It will be delightfully empty because why in the world would anyone want to be in that cold, wintry ick ?

I'll tell you why.

It's the silence.
The stillness.
The complete and perfect calm.
It's the gray of the sky against those giant limbs of the trees.
It's the occasional critter that scurries out with a 'yeah, I'm still here' reminder.
It's the briskness in the air,
the whiteness of the snow,
the beauty in the day that is too often pushed aside by busy.
It's wonderful
& it is truly my little slice of Heaven each and every time I experience.

So.
What's my point ?

I hope you find your 'It'
& if you already have, you know the exact joy of which I speak.
But, if you haven't ?
Oh my gosh.
Seek.
Find.
Because it is there, right THERE, waiting patiently for you to notice, to acknowledge, to understand, to know.

I so hope you discover, uncover yours
& when you do, treasure it with everything inside of you !!

Because it's pure.
It's peace.
It is happy.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Hope

Way back in my daycare days, I worked with a woman named Hope.

Hope.
Now there was a tough cookie to crack.

eek

At a glance, she came across as 'mean' as she didn't offer much.
She was very disciplined and somewhat stern in her ways
& when we first met ?
Yeah.
I was very intimidated.

But, funny thing when children and their honest to goodness, pure feelings are involved.
They ADORED Hope
& she loved each and every one of them too
& soon,  she and I became an awesome tag team
& life was always pleasant in that preschool.

Did I say always ?
um
We're talking youngsters here
& no offense kids, but some days were just plain hectic.

Hope wouldn't put up with any nonsense though.
She had certain classroom rules that needed to be followed
& manners were very important to her.
Daily, she would punctuate patience,
please,
thank you,
wait your turn,
& never, ever interrupt, especially when she was teaching a lesson.

My favorite memory of my friend, Hope, is when a child would intrude.
"MrsHopeMrsHopeMrsHopeMrsHopeMrsHope"
that innocent soul would mutter, not realizing that she was ignoring his pestering voice on purpose.
At this point, a seasoned veteran would know not to bother Mrs Hope, that she would acknowledge and answer as soon as she finished up her biz.
But, there was always that one who hadn't received the memo and dared strayed into one tooooo many "MrsHope-s"

I can still see the kind but, patience dissolved face of  MRSHOPE as she ever so slowly turned away from what she was doing,
looked that pesty child straight in the eyeballs
and in a bold but extremely endearing tone say "GO. AWAY."

Go. Away.
All the time.
Every time.

GO. AWAY.

& so, they did.
Knowing that as soon as she was able, they would receive this awesome teacher's undivided attention too
& sure enough, there Hope would be ASAP, with every ounce of her T.L.C. attending to Impatient.

Oh, how I loved that woman and her old-school ways
& I often wonder how many well-mannered adults she sent out into this world.
My guess is many.

Hope left this life years ago but, is definitely hanging around me these days.
I feel her.
She's reminding me to stand firm.
If something is not right, don't be afraid, speak up.
Tell it to GO. AWAY.

& so.
Hate ?
uh. huh.
I am talking to YOU.

I will not tolerated your ugliness anymore.
You are draining my happy and I cannot let this happen
& since my happiness is completely and totally up to ME from now until forever when you insistently come-a-calling, what you will receive is a loud and proud GO. AWAY.
With that awesome little lady and her priceless words by my side, I'll repeat again and again and again
GO. AWAY.
& if, despite all my warnings, you STILL persist in your persisting, Hate,
I shall offer you my undivided attention
& Love

Love.
For always.
Forever

oh
&
let's not forget, Hope.
Yes, hope.

Stubbornly beautiful
eternally inspiring
endlessly polite,
Hope.

Thanks, Hope.

:)

I Am My Feelings

  
 

 

   




 

Accumulated

My favorite weather guy has informed me that we the people who live around these parts have just tied a record.

YaY

Nine consecutive days of measurable snow !!

I KNOW !
Isn't it awesome ??
& this includes the storm I've dubbed, BIGGIE.

Now THAT was a doozie !!

weeeeeeee

But, as with every storm, be it Winter
Spring
Summer
or Autumn.
It does it's thing, goes about it's way and leaves us to deal.
& so, we deal.

Wait.
What ??

Who's that boooooooo-ing over there ??

um
Would you mind turning it down a notch, please ??
I understand that you don't share my frozen vapor glee
& I wholeheartedly, honestly, pinky swear sympathize with your mumbling, grumbling cause.
I do !!
But, it's WINTER
& this is what Winter sometimes does

Remember, it won't hang around forever
& if you take the time to notice !!
there is a perfect, tranquil beauty in this often harsh season
& if you seek, you definitely will find.
I promise.

Hey Favorite Weather Guy ?
Any chance we can have ten ??

:)

I Am My Feelings

 

DIBS

I googled the word to double check it's origin.
Seems people have uttered this syllable since 1812.
WoW.
& here I thought my family owned all rights.

rats.

We sure do like to say, call, declare and express it though.
A lot.
Family LOVES to call dibs.
Catch us at any gathering and you're sure to hear someone laying claim to something or another.
We even have a 'Dibs List'
I started it a few years ago just to keep track of who wants what.

We dib over miscellaneous, silly things.
Things that matter to only us.
We are catching memories, really.
Priceless memories.

Walk into the basement of our childhood home and you walk into a lovely time warp.
Games, toys
& stuff.
Beautiful recollections from a wonderful childhood.
A mom, a dad, their six children and happy.
Much happy.

Younger Brother dibbed a potato masher once
& Mom gave it to him.
She gave it to him !
I've yet to recover from that covert exchange
& technically speaking, it goes against every single dibs rule, ever.

uh huh.

But, along with the masher came flashbacks of Dad mashing those potatoes.
No one, and I mean
NO. ONE.
mashed potatoes like Dad.

Clickity clickity clickity clack.
I can still hear the rhythm in my head.

YuM.

The grandchildren and great grandchildren have joined in on the calling of dibs now too.
A 'rock' pillow that is so uncomfortably hard there is no reason for it's existence.
Tv trays Grandma used to set Mrs Grass Soup for her Kindergarten bound grandson.
An original light fixture.
A brownie making bowl.
A snow shovel.
A homemade gift from days long past.
Yep.
These are just a few of the treasured items on our 'Dibs List'.

ahhhh.
Memories.

Nowadays, when someone lovingly shouts ! DIBS ! Dad wholeheartedly responds
"TAKE IT ...! ... Get it outta here .. ! ! !"
& we should.
We should.
But, we don't.

We want to keep that wonderful time warp around for as long as possible.

:)

I Am My Feelings

! SNOW DAY !

It will probably be called The BIGGIE of 2018, February's Fury or some other catchy, breaking news title.
Or have they already named this Winter precip  ?
If they did, I haven't noticed
& I usually pay attention to these things because one day, I hope to hear of a "Storm Jacki"
because THAT would be AWESOME.

So.
Before I continue with any other anything, I must give a GIGANTIC Hooray !! to all the people who have to be out and about in this hefty weather.
Schools are cancelled, roads are hazardous, we are told to STAY HOME but you have no choice, it's what you do
& to you I hand over my sincere, wholehearted appreciation and applause.
Thank You Thank You
Thank. YOU
& if I could, I would make each and every single one of you a batch of cookies.
You are amazing.

Now, barring any tragedies and all those not so good happenings that accompany Mother Nature's frozen vapor ...
dontcha just LOVE a good snowstorm ??
I know I do ! !
I love the 'there's nothing we can do but wait it out' feeling of it all.

! SNOW DAY !

yippeeeeeeeeeeee 

& I can't wait to get out there and begin the digging out process.
It takes me back to my childhood, for sure.
Those warm, fuzzy, comfy feelings of building snowmen, hills and forts,
hot cocoa waiting inside.
It all comes happily back when I'm outside after a storm.

weeeeee.

This Winter really hasn't been all that bad, folks
A few freezings, a couple snowys and one or two windys
& here it is, February already, with a mere 39 days until Spring.
We are almost there, people
& we haven't had a good, honker blizzard in a few years.
So hey, no complaints !
I won't be mumbling or grumbling.
No. Way.

I'm going to grab that shovel, put my music in my ears
& enjoy the pure beauty of Winter at it's best.
Slow and steady will get it done.
It always does.
It always will.

The BIGGIE of 2018 ?
Oooooooooo Yeah.
It was a good one.
A real good one.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Oh Yes I Can

 Read by Ken Guidotti


There is a voice inside my head
I hear it every day
It says I can
It says I must
It guides and shows the way

When others say "Impossible!"
The words are blocked from me
My lovely voice
Already knows
And one day I will see

I'll see that dreams
Really come true
Although it may take years
The world says "No"
My voice says "Yes!"
I must conquer my fears

Because I can
Oh, yes I can
I can. I will. I must.
I must believe
Believe in me
In me, I'll always trust

And on the days that seem so dark
I know I'll see a sign
It may be small
And quick to miss
It sets me back on line

Because I can
Oh, yes I can
I can. I will. I must.
I must believe
Believe in me
In me, I'll always trust

So when they say 'It can't be done"
I grin and turn away
And know deep down
Inside my heart
It might just be today

Because I can
Oh, yes I can
I can. I will. I must.
I must believe
Believe in me
In me, I'll always trust.

:)

Bad Girl Chair

I hung out at an airport, recently.
Arrived earlier than expected, had time to spare, so I did one of my favorite things to do ...
I people watched.

YaY.

Little kids are the best.
Their giggles are priceless. 
Their meltdowns, entertaining.
& child to child, sibling conversations ?
Infinitely amusing.

I was privy to witness one parent not so quietly interrupt a heated debate between a "big" brother and his pesty little sister.
"We are going home now and you will spend the rest of the day in time out ! "

Time out.

Ooooo the memories that came rushing back with those two little words.
 
Time. Out.

I called it the 'bad girl chair'.
AKA, the 'bad boy chair' for Son.

There is a five year age difference between 1st Born Boy and 2nd Born Girl
& a one and a half year difference between 2nd Born and 3rd Born Girl.
The feuding sisters were the last ones to occupy the hot seat
& this is why it will forever be dubbed "bad girl".
But if you happen to ask my daughters their version of this story ?
They are convinced 1st Born Boy was PERFECT
& are absolutely positive there was no such thing as a bad BOY chair in his growing up world.

Uh huh.

Oy.

Either way, WHOEVER would be plopped squarely into this spot when they were being unpleasant
& they were told they would remain ! RIGHT THERE ! until they were ready to be nice.

Some days, they were very ready
& some days ?
Oh, some days.

Nowadays, I'm reminded of the interesting conversations that were had on those infamous chairs, especially while I was out of the room.
The placing of blame as to why they were sitting there seemed to be a rather popular topic.
Eventually though, those sweet children of mine would work out their differences.
"We're ready to be NICE ! !" they would proudly sing as they handed over a kiss & happily skipped off to the Land of Compromise.

We laugh about it now.
The Bad Chairs.
Really ?
How politically incorrect.
But hey, they all turned out normal.

Sometimes I miss those days soooooo much and would take them back in an instant
& then I snap out of it and go about my quiet business.

ahhhhhh.

I think I'll people watch instead.

:)

I Am My Feelings

attention please

You know when someone really, REALLY wants attention and that repeat button keeps getting pushed ?

Parents know what I mean.
mommommommommom
daddaddaddaddaddaddad

or when a song keeps turning up on the radio ?
as if to say, 'you didn't hear me the first time, so here ya go again ... and again'

or you continue to see that random something until it occurs to you ! I keep seeing that random SOMETHING ! What's up with THAT ??

ahhhhh
signs.

! signs ! 

My most recent involve people.
People helping people in such a way that it changes their journey.
Stories told of specific moments that touch a soul so deeply, it becomes embedded within and forever guides.

Coincidence.
Happenstance.
Just because.
By chance.
Destiny.

ooooo weeeeee

I cannot describe how very much I adore these types of encounters !!
because it shows how sooooo very connected each and every single one of us are to each other.

Imagine if we all took a fraction of a second to be that shiny spark of inspiration
or if we allllll cared enough to make just one, little bitty difference in another someone's life
& imagine if we chose to continue this quest daily,
weekly
month by month
year by year.

weeeeeee.
We'd be looking at a gloriously staggering domino effect of wonderful now, wouldn't we ?

Hey.
Guess what ?

It CAN be done.
& I promise you, it's easy.
All we have to do is try.

I try.
You try.
We try.

trytrytrytrytrytrytrytry
trytrytrytrytrytrytrytry
trytrytrytrytrytrytrytry

Sure hope I caught your attention.

:)

I Am My Feelings

FAKER

Hey !
Did you know that TODAY is National Sickie Day ??!??
It's true.
Because Super Bowl festivities and a This Is Us episode sure doooooo take a toll on a body, right ?

r i g h t

ahhhh.
Reminds me of my days of yesteryear
aka elementary school
Having to go back there after any type of time off was the absolute worst
& I'm pretty sure I hold the record for low attendance due to faked sicknesses.
No wait ... I take that back
Younger Brother carries a rather impressive  "I Don't Feel Sooooo Good...!" title too.

I don't like to brag but, we were good.
Real good.
So good, sometimes we'd both be home from school with made up ills.
hmmmm.
We probably should have coordinated our strategies a bit better.

At the risk of getting the infamous 'Mad Face' from Dad, who never believed our sick schtick ...
Today, I offer up my three best fakes.

# 1.
I once attached myself to my youngest sister who happened to be suffering through chicken pox.
Everywhere she went, I went.
Everything she did, I did.
My parents thought I was being helpful.
My innocent sister just wanted my attention.
Little did they know, I had a sinister plan.
What I was trying to do was catch that itchy, spotty chicken pox from my sweet sibling.
I didn't care that I had already had the virus.
I was going to get that bugger again.
Fyi ...
I didn't.

rats.

# 2.
One morning, I took a sip of orange juice.
I then sat at the kitchen table and waited for just the right moment.
Perfect timing was the key.
My family wondered why I wasn't talking ? and btw ... you don't look so good Jacki ....
Yay.
There's my cue.
I suddenly jumped up and ran to the bathroom and "threw up" my oj
& yes.
I did stay home from school that day.

so. so. wrong.

# 3  
I was already at school but, just wasn't feeling it.
I told my teacher my stomach hurt.
She sent me down to the office.
Since younger brother and I were regular visitors, the receptionist and principal gave each other that 'look who's here again' glance as I walked in.

I knew the routine.
They would ask me what's wrong, take my temperature and send me back to class.
But, you can't blame a girl for trying.

The  thermometer always sat in the same spot.
It was in a small, tight container which was filled with rubbing alcohol or some sort of concoction to kill the germs.
The receptionist would take the thermometer out, wipe it off and place it in my mouth.
This time though, the lady was preoccupied.
She forgot to wipe the thermometer off.
When the thermometer entered my mouth I ingested the germ concoction and started coughing.
Uncontrollably coughing.
The principal and receptionist looked at me with shock and concern in their eyes.
I heard them mutter, "Laryngitis ...?? Swollen glands ??"
They hurriedly checked my temperature, which had probably skyrocketed because I was coughing so much.
... & then ....
They called my mama.
I got to go home.

YES.

Yep.
Those were the days, my friend.
Mom would hand over such sweet TLC.
A cozy bed, a cold compress, something to eat.
A barf bucket, just in case.
No cares.
No concerns.
No worries.

Until Dad came home.
gulp.
Try as I might, unless I was really, truly sick Dad could see right through me.

.....and .....

Mad Face.

I'd feel horribly guilty that he knew that I knew that he knew I was faking but, that never stopped me from plotting my next disease.

Well Dad, even though you and Mom were wise to my antics all along, today I am confessing.
I was an elementary school sickness pretender.
Yes.
Yes, I was.
& so was your youngest son ...!...

fyi, if I'm going down you're coming too, my brother.

FAKER !

:)

I Am My Feelings

Different Lights

'How we see each other'
That's the note I jotted to myself as a something I would one day write.

hmmmm

But what to write ?
I mean, I know what I want to express, I'm just not quite sure how to say
& so,
I put that little, some day reminder alongside all my other 'soon' scribbles and went about my biz
& then, out of nowhere, these words stumbled upon my path.

"Your writing seems boring and predictable because
*  You wrote it
*  You've read it like eight million times
A person who has never read it before does not have this problem."

& I thought,
'THAT'S IT ! ! !'

Exactly.

This takes me back to the day I decided, instead of my stories and poems being tucked tight and cozily hidden in that bottom, right, dresser drawer forever ?
I will put myself out into the world and see what people think.

YaY

& somewhere along this road Friend, who happens to be pretty darn talented at audio and voice-overs and things like that, offered to 'read' my writings.
He'd place them on his website and presto ! there they'd be for this world to hear too !
and again, I applauded !! yippee !!

But I have to tell you, the very first time and still, to this day, when I actually experience someone else besides my own voice speaking these words I've spoken only to myself ??

WoW

It was and is a very cool !! albeit, rather bizarre encounter
but, once I adjust ?
 
weeeee

I LOVE IT

& right there ! is my point.

As someone who doubted herself for waaaaay too long, I can now confidently say
don't be afraid to do.
If you have something to share
(and we ALL have something to share)
open it up and bring it on out !
You'll never know if you never try
& the song,
words,
personality,
dance,
silliness,
calm,
brilliance
strong,
skill
!! UNIQUE !! 
that YOU bring to the table just might be exactly what WE need.

We all shine in different lights
& isn't that absolutely fabulous ??!??

Discover.
Pursue.
Be.
Share. YOURS.

The universe and I quietly await your sparkle.

! !  YaY  ! !

:)

I Am My Feelings

My Fluffy Four

Repeated for those who understand me better than I understand me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'm going for a hairdo today.
Cut, color, highlights.
My usual biz
& this got me to thinking about the stylists I've known through the years
& how each one of them have helped shape not only my hair but, my life.

Eddie was my first.
He got hold of my tangles when I was somewhere in my very early teens.
My refreshingly honest friend who once told me that I have no in between.
I either look REAL good !
or ...
not.
How I adore that man.
He took an insecure tomboy and jazzed her up a bit.
He would fluff and I'd pat down
& we would talk,
just talk.

Next came Carol.
I walked into a random shop one day, for no reason other than it was close to my house.
I was asked if I had a person preference.
"Nope"
Carol took this hair of mine through those young and free going out days.
She made me all pretty for my wedding, and took on the challenge of Daughters when they weren't all that crazy about getting haircuts
& when life caused us to lose contact because that's what life sometimes does, it was Carol who put her and I back together again.
She is my friend until the end.

Lynn was with me through my Mom years.
Little Sis liked her so I thought I'd give her a try.
With Lynn, my hair stayed short and my life busy.
Our friendship was more about my girls.
Homecomings. Turnabouts. Proms.
Seems Lynn was always preparing their hair for a dance
& me ?
Oh she tried ! but my response was always, 'Same'.
Lynn and I would laugh at the thought of what in the world we would do when those sisters were done dancing ...
Long ?
Short ?
Fancy ?
nah
probably not fancy

& then I met Don.
I tell him it was destiny
& I'm pretty convinced we've known each other in another life.
We were siblings once, for sure.
We've gone to a few Barry Manilow concerts together
& each time, before I'd even ask, he made it clear that he absolutely would "do" my hair pre-Barry.
He knows I don't fluff like he fluffs

& THAT'S exactly what I love most about these people.
They fluff.
I don't
& they open arms accept me for who I am.

They have listened to my every ramble, heard all my secrets.
They've been with me through happys and sads, through my various 'I've got it soooooo figured out / I don't have a clue what to do'.
They've taken me from a young girl to today
& I am so very grateful for these carers of my hair.

Thanks for the fluffings, my Four
& each of those every little everythings in between.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Smile

Read by Ken Guidotti 

Put a little smile on your face and make it a happy day!
Oh, Hello!
What is your name?
My name is Smile.
My Mom and Dad named me Smile because I smile a lot.
Ever since I was a baby I have smiled a lot!

Even when I was BORN I smiled a lot!

My parents smile all the time and my grandparents do too.

I guess you can say smiles run in our family.

My Mom says “Put a little smile on your face and make it a happy day!”

She says that is our family motto.

I LOVE SMILES!

I guess it is because I really don't know how to frown or cry or get mad.

All I really know is how to smile!

So, I figure, if I can smile all the time, why can't everyone else?

Why can't the whole world smile all the time?

Why can't we be one, big, happy smile?

If everyone put a little smile on their face it really would be a happy day!

So, here is my plan.
I am going on an adventure.

A SMILE adventure!

Would you like to join me?

I am going to pass out smiles.

I'll give one to you.  You give one to him.  He will give one to her.  And so on and so on and so on!

Isn't that a great idea?

I thought so!

Smile at someone RIGHT NOW and see what happens.

Did they smile back?

I knew they would!

Now, keep smiling as we begin our adventure.

Hey.  There is a girl.

She looks sad.

I am going to give her a smile.

Let's see what happens.

She is smiling!

I knew it would work because a smile helps everything.

Look, there she goes, passing her smile on and on.
Okay.  One down.  Zillions to go!

There is a man.

I wonder what is wrong with him?

He looks mean and a little bit grumpy.

I'm scared.  Are you scared too?

Come on.  Let's try.  Here goes. Let's give him a smile.

Hey!  That was not so bad.

I think he looks better with a smile.  Do you agree?
OH!  I am so happy!

I knew my idea would work.

Let's keep going.

Uh oh. There is a big group of people.

WHOA.  There are so many of them and they do not look very happy, do they?

They look angry.

Hmmmmm.  What should we do?

Should we give them smiles?

We have enough for everyone, but, they are so big and we are so small.

Oh.  I am nervous!

Okay.  Let's just do it and see what happens.

Are you with me?  Okay.  Let's go!

Smiles -  Smiles – Smiles

Put a little smile on your face and make it a happy day!

Hey.  That was fun!

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

I knew my idea would work and with your help it was easy but, that is not the end of our adventure.

Oh no! It is just the beginning.

In fact, you have an even BIGGER job to do.

Your job is to keep passing out smiles.

Every day.  Every hour.  Every minute.  Every second.

I KNOW you can do it because it is so easy.

If you see someone who is sad.  Smile.

If you see someone who is mad.  Smile.

If you see someone who is not smiling.  Smile.

I know it can work.

I know we can be one big happy smile some day.

If everyone just tries it can work.  It really can!

I guess I better go home now. I hear my mother calling me.

So, until we meet again, remember...

Put a little smile on your face and make it a happy day.

It really works!



I Am My Feelings