Super

But, then again, it always is, isn't it ?
This one, they say, is more of a rarity though.
Super Blue Blood.
What a cool sounding name
& as of this moment, it looks like the clouds will allow me to see.

YaY

I tried to take a picture but, as with every Full Moon I've ever attempted to snap, it didn't turn out very well.
I guess I'm better at dawn imagines so I'll leave this beauty to those who know how to do these things
but yeah, that's me running back and forth to the front window, hoping I don't miss anything
& I suppose I could simply move my laptop to the best view but, I'm in dire need of fitbit steps so I'll just have to tough it out

& I love how this celestial event is happening in the perfect quiet of the morning.
This is the greatest time of the day, if you ask me.
It's sacred.
A promise of a fresh start, right there for us to grasp.

Dang ! How I ADORE this stuff !
Kinda puts every single, everything right smack dab into perspective, doesn't it ?

Yep.
Yep, it do

What an awesome way to begin a Wednesday, Universe
& knowing that a sunrise is only minutes away from your spectacular Moon show ?

WoW
Just. WOW.

Thank You.
I shall do my best to take this gift and make it equally amazing.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Oh Beautiful

Although I sure wish it was because it is my VERY favorite holiday, today is the 30th of January, not the 4th of July.

rats.

Fortunately though, modern technology allows me to pull up words and re-express feelings of that day
& so,
I'd love to share what I wrote just a few short months ago.

--------------------

It's your birthday America !!

!! YaY !!

& before I get yet another day of food, fireworks and happiness into gear, I just need to take this moment to STOP and shhhhhh.
To remember, to remind.
To say.

YOU are AWESOME !! America !!

Thank You for THIS.
ALL of THIS.
For the freedom, the pride, the love, the opportunity.

Because of YOU, I know that I can do anything.
Any. Thing.
You offer me the chance to know, to grow, to say, to be
& I'm so darn proud of you.
Of US.
Together, we are absolutely amazing.

Happy, Happy Birthday, America.
I am so very fortunate to call you my country, my home, my friend.
I love you.
I applaud you.
I celebrate YOU.

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

--------------------

Yes, America, I said it then and I will say it again and again and again ...

"I am so very fortunate to call you my country, my home, my friend."

& sure, yes, I know.
We are flawed.
We are.
But, the flaws have always been ! and certain things will forever need to be fixed, tweaked and changed.
It's US !
It's how we do what we do.

I'm talking core, America.
CORE
& at that deep down, heart connected core ?

Yeah.
THAT.

We know we are beautiful.
We know we are united.
We know we are great
so please, let's not let anyone ever, EVER tell us anything different.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Grandma Dreams

I love when they exclaim,
"I had a Grandma dream last night !"
or
"Mom visited yesterday !"
Reaffirmed and forever convinced, I excitedly respond, "YaY ! What'd she say ?
Did she have a message ? Details, please !"
& they happily tell.

Funny though, when she first left, I was the one who'd remember best.
Incredibly vivid she was, with her hugs and love
& I would gleefully remind everyone who would listen that she was oh so very there for them too.
It's just some people recall, some do not but, an occasional nightly conversation they absolutely did and do receive.

But, now ?
Now, I'm the one who cannot bring to mind any single one of her latest, comfort-filled drop ins.
boo.

I think that's why Daughter's recent encounter with her Grandma tugs at my heartstrings
& I feel such a strong need to share.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I think it was Auntie D's house. There was a picture on her refrigerator.  A family picture from a wedding or a party but, EVERYBODY was there
& waaaaaay in the back was someone I couldn't really see.
I thought it was you, Mom, cause you always want to be behind everyone and hide.
As I was trying to figure it out,  Auntie D said,  "I can tell you who it is because I know exactly where she was sitting !"
Auntie then began to peel away at the picture and the people until she revealed the mystery person.
It was Grandma !
I think she was reminding me that she is always there and always with us.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

& woooo weeeee how I do appreciate those reminders !!

Love continues, of that I am convinced !
& I can only hope, when it's my turn to go, I will be just as generous with my signs as my mama has been with hers.

Thanks for the quietly peaceful comfort you continually offer, Mom.
Yes, you're there.
You are so, sooooooo there

& I am positively positive your person is there for you too, my friends.

Seek them
& you most definitely WILL find them.

Guaranteed.

:)

I Am My Feelings

   

Hey, January

Little did I know when we began our trek, that we'd start 2018 off so bumpity, bumpity, bumpy
& the only words I can conjure up to describe our assortment of encounters are,
OK.
and
YaY.

YaY US

Curve balls are what we've seen.
Everything doable and nothing too terrible but, swervy-wervy curve balls all the same
& just when we thought we had it allllll figured out ?
Zig and his good pal, Zag waltzed right in to tumble and jumble things up a little bit more.

HA.
yes, more.

Oh, January.
If we can't lightheartedly laugh our way into February, we might as well give it up.
It's Life.
It's what Life does.

You see, everything offers a unique message, my friend
& I can choose to learn from and treasure
or be burdened by and wallow.
Either way, there it be.

I'm thinking I'd rather be enlightened.

Because for every sidetrack, I get a redo
& confusion often hands me answers.
STOP advises a slow down
& surprises always bring their share of joy.
Outside coldness offers inside warmth
& cloudy clouds eventually reveal a lovely burst of sunshine.

The bright is forever there
& the reasons are infinitely and oh so patiently waiting to be discovered.

Hey, January ?
Thanks for the Strong
& Life ?
I truly appreciate your lessons.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Say It

I saw him this time, every year.
He'd walk into my house, give me a hug , a 'Hello Darlin', and ask about the family.
After awhile, I'd excuse myself and we'd laugh that we could talk all day but, he and Husband had taxes to do.
An hour or so later, I'd reappear.
We'd continue our conversation, he'd give me his 'bye Darlin, let's try to see each other before next year'
and off he'd go
& as I'd shut the door behind him, I'd over the top exclaim 'What a wonderful man ! !'

I think he knew how I felt but, I sure wish I'd have told him.
I would have, could have, should have said certain words.
Words like 'You brighten up my Winter!' or 'You're my favorite!' or some other syrupy something.
But, I didn't.

Two years later and how I miss that man.

Sometimes, most times, I catch myself holding back on saying certain words to certain people.
I think they'll think I'm kooky or silly or just plain nuts
& I talk myself out of expressing the joy they bring.

It's that random, little bitty but important to me glee.
That smile when I need it most, the unexpected phone call, the out of nowhere just because, that hello darlin...
Miscellaneous happiness from very nice people.

I need to stop thinking and start speaking my sappy.

You make me happy !
You're so awesome !
I love that you are in my life !

Those simple words need to be expressed enthusiastically, wholeheartedly and often.
These days are not guaranteed and I'd much rather leave my mark as a goof than as a sure wish I ...

Say it.
Yep.
Just say it.

I am so going to say it.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Happy Bubbles

I noticed it as I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair.
A soap bubble exclamation point.
weeeee.
You sure don't see that every day !

I was so excited at this awesome sight that I scurried and hurried to finished up my shower biz.
I must take a picture of this unique event, I thought.
A soap bubble exclamation point.
It's a sign.
For. Sure.

I then proceeded to show my picture to those who understand my love of signs and exclamation points.
"Look ! Look !" I exclaimed "A soap bubble exclamation point !"
Uuuuh huh, they sometimes it's best just to humor her, agreed.
That's cool.
Yes.
Yes, it is a sign.
For. Sure.

I was absolutely delighted about my soap bubble !
It WAS a sign
& from that moment on, I KNEW it would be THE Perfect Day.
My stars were aligned.

YaY

As it turned out, it WAS a fantastic day.
The day after and the day after that were extremely fine too.
But, somewhere in this week I let go.
I forgot about my soap bubble. 
I invited humdrum to take over my brain
& I slipped into a ho-hum hole.

boo.

But as I look out my window this morning, I am feeling the joy bubbling inside.
A sunrise awaits.
A new day begins.
Yeah.
It's back.
I'm back.

A soap bubble exclamation point.
Yep. 
It was a sign.
A sign I intend to follow.
& yep.
Today IS going to be a very, very wonderful day
&
tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

! Enjoy !
I soap bubble exclamation point know I will.

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

:)

I Am My Feelings

Quoted Quotes

My wonderfully thoughtful and extremely cute niece has a way of brightening my days.
She quotes my quotes.

Now, that may sound weird and a bit egotistical but, coming from my point of view, it's pretty cool stuff
& it's hard to describe but, I will do my best.

As I pen these words each day, I really don't write for anything or anyone in particular.
Yes, I have been known to throw in an occasional 'I'm talking to YOU !', but mostly, these rambles really are just the words floating around in my head.

Same with my poems and stories.
I have no idea where they come from.
They just pop into my brain, I jot them down and I share them with you fine people
& I genuinely hope my words help a someone, somewhere out there.

Once in awhile but, not very often I reread my words.
Sometimes, I think ICK.
Sometimes, I think AWESOME.
It just depends.
But the more I write, the stronger I feel
& so, I keep chugging.

Then, out of nowhere and just because, I'll get a text or a phone call or an Instagram from Niece.
She sends me a sentence, a phrase, a paragraph of my words.
She quotes my quotes
& I find that the kindest, most sincere, coolest compliment ever

& so today, I've decided to gather up my quoted quotes and place them together forever on this space called Blog.
Why ?
Because I'm hoping that the someone, somewhere out there finds comfort, motivation or whatever they are searching for here.
Right here.

So, sit back
grab that coffee
& get yourself ready 'cause here they come ....

 


Thanks, Niece.

I wrote.
You quoted.
Here's to a domino effect of brightened days beginning right here, right now.

YaY

:)

I Am My Feelings

pokepokepokepokepoke

Funny, the information discovered when one simply Googles.

I wondered.
I asked.
I know.

"The Poke button, one of Facebook's most odd but memorable features, has been quietly hidden from view."

But, no worries !! It's still there !! Google reassures my broken heart,
seems I'll just have to maneuver a step or three to find it again.

Well, RATS, I reply.
rats

I have to admit though, I am rather relieved.
I was pretty darn certain Brother and I had officially crossed the line, convinced we may have broken the switch.
The Facebook powers that be deciding, "ok, kids, that's enough. ENOUGH !!"

But we really meant no harm, honest.
It's just that once the first poke was poked, well, I sure wasn't going to be the one to stop.
Brother started it and there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to allow him to defeat me.

nope.
nada.

I mean, c'mon.
Time after time, he'd win.
He'd ALWAYS win.

The staring contests.
The no talking tests.
The repeating every word I say until I break down and MAAAAAAAA !! Make him STOP !!

uh uh
I don't care if this goes well past infinity.
This one is MINE.

"Don't you have better things to do ?" Husband would occasionally ponder as I'd proudly boast the latest 'I'll be darned if I'll be the last one' tally.

Well, errrr, ummm YES,
yes I do
but ....

& so it continued.
Day and night.
Night and day.

Until.
Until they took it away.
They hid it.
boo

Yes, I suppose I could go through those extra steps to find my lost poker but, I am POSITIVE I was the one who irritated last.
So yeah, Bro.
I WON.
3,000 push-backs later and ha ha, hee hee, I conquered.
Finally.

Oh & fyi,
if you happen to seek, find and revitalize ??
pokepokepokepokepoke

I'm telling Mom.

MAAAAAAAAA !!

:)

I Am My Feelings

Above The Rain

When storm clouds loom

and fears abound

I can't get up

I've fallen down

Or it's too late

for one more try

Sadness awaits

The tears, I cry

It's here I find

my peaceful pause

I know I can

Fulfill my cause

I say these words

again, before

My troubled heart

Content, once more

Above the rain, I pledge to me

Above the rain, is where I'll be

Above the rain, I find my way

Above the rain is where I'll stay

No matter what

how, when or why

Keep on, I will

Forever try

Persist. Endure

Continue. Trust

A promise kept

I know I must

Above the rain, I pledge to me

Above the rain, is where I'll be

Above the rain, I find my way

Above the rain is where I'll stay

Committed path

to what life brings

Steadfast and blessed

Happy, I sing

Above the rain, I pledge to me

Above the rain, is where I'll be

Above the rain, I find my way

Above the rain is where I'll stay

:)

Mom's

I knew this night, that you would leave
I felt you slip away
I said goodbye, as you said hello
I could not make you stay

I thought the tears would never end
But now, I surely see
One door closed, another door opens
Your soul's so very free

I'll carry on. I'll shine, for you
You're always in my heart
You did not die, you truly live
We'll never be apart

So fly on up to where He is
Please know that I am fine
Jesus loves you and Jesus loves me
Together, we'll be in time

:)

Tell Me

To those who gather in peaceful protest.
Yesterday.
Today.
Tomorrow.
This one's for YOU.

--------------------

& here, after allllllll these years, I thought my biggest pet peeve was discovering a typo after I already hit 'publish'.

WRONG - O

Typo peeve, you've been bumped by another.
uh huh
Meet, Tell Me.
She's lived quietly and very laid back in my soul for many a year but, as of a few days ago ...?
Yeah.
She's here.

Ooooooh, she's here.

Tell me it's not possible
& I will make it my life's quest to show just how possible possible can be.

Tell me I can't
& you better believe I can.

Tell me it's ugly
& I will find every single bitty bit of beautiful and place it on your doorstep.

Tell me I'm weak
& you best be prepared for my strong.

Tell me each and every one of your infinite negatives
& I will always, ALWAYS find the positives.

Yes, go ahead and tell me, it won't
or it's not
or it'll never
or why bother
or ... or ... or ...
& you will be amazed at the awesome power of your 'don't'.

You've awakened a sleeping giant, Tell Me
& I'm begging you ...
Please.
Tell me again.

:)

I Am My Feelings

No Despair

I came thisclose to chuckin it in this morning.
Throwing that blanket over my head with a heavy sigh of WHO CARES ??!?
Yep
My 'why bother' birds were doing their thing and singing their song LOUD and oh so very clear.

why bother
why bother
why bother

& I almost believed them.

Almost.

But.
I got up anyway
& slowly but very surely, I set myself up at this laptop and I began
& as those cobwebs and all that noisy noise made it's way out of my brain, I was reminded of just why in the world I do bother.

I bother because I am living in a snow globe these days
& if I embrace Winter with every little bit of patience it offers
and view it as a most beautiful season of black and whites and grays ?
Well, by golly, it's not so bad after all.
So, bundle up my peeps
& enjoy.

I bother because of those lyrics that continue to jump out of my iPhone and knock me right smack dab upside the head.
I hear you, Ventura Highway
.... no despair ....

I bother because of this day's sunshine and all of it's shadowy awesomeness.

I bother because of those critters outside my window who prove to me time after time after time again, that no matter the cold or wet or dismal, they just keep on keeping on.
Keep chugging.
Don't you dare stop chugging.

I bother because of the genuine kindness from strangers.

I bother because of those pick me up, prop me up, never-ending words of encouragement from some wonderfully sincere, beautiful souls.

I bother because TODAY is a brand new, blank sheet of absolute possibilities.

So yes, I bother

&

!! YaY  !!

I am pretty darn happy that I do.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Brother Robots

Every other day or so, as Son and his boys head home from work and school, I get a checking in on what's happening phone call.
Most times, it's a noisy conversation with a lot of giggly background busyness from Mr Silly and Mr Happy.

A week or two ago, as I was being informed about their adventures, Son asked his 3 1/2 year old to tell Gramma Jacki about the robots that came to the daycare
& as I listened to the coolness of that experience, I also found out that these Grandsons of mine saw each other at the gathering that day.
"Ahhhh, brothers !" my melting heart exclaimed as seeing one another in that environment would be a new experience.

Long story short, when the younger boy spotted his older sibling, he pointed to him and the tears flowed because he so wanted to be near his favorite pal
& when asked what he did as he witnessed Little Bro in such distress, Big Brother proudly confessed, "I cry."

& something about that precious, priceless moment in time just insists on happily hunkering in my head
& you want to know why ??
Because it's Love in it's simplest, purest, most glorious form is what it is
& I absolutely adore it !!

Imagine for a second, if we could bottle that instant up .. ? ...
I love you and you love me sooooooo darn much that we can't stand the thought of being apart, even for a second.

ooooo weeeee

I know a few humans who might benefit from a dab or two of that powerful potion !
"Here you go, Meanie. Try it. You'll like it"
& wham.
Love rules.
Love thrives.
Love invigoratingly conquers this world.

ahhhhh, Love.
Love !
Incredible, awesome, wonderful, Love.
Perfectly explained in an "I cry" minute.

Thanks for the reminder, Brother Robots.
I will do my very best to share your genuineness.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Square One

You ever have a ten steps ahead, two steps behind type of moment ?
When it seems that no matter where or how or what,  Life INSISTS on directing you right smack back to square one ?

uh huh

Square One.

I've been spending a lot of time with this somewhat insurmountable feeling these days.
A tug here, a shimmy there and oops, I've stumbled off my path, yet again

but, hey, no worries !
I am not here to complain.
Nope.
I am a disciplined disciple of everything happens for a reason
& so, today, well TODAY, I am here to remind.

Remind You.
Remind Me.
Remind Square One of a beautiful force called Determination.

ahhhh, Determination.

She insists.
She pushes.
She's stubborn and confident and absolutely will not stop her continual drumbeat of OH YES WE CAN

& fyi, Square One ?
She knows alllllll about your sidetracking ways
& she doesn't care to hear those heavy sighs, ho hums or infinite 'why me?!' excuses.
No.
She's a fan of results
Believe in her, she will believe in you.

Boom
Done
Lesson learned.

So, go ahead, my dear friend.
Bring. It.
& bring it again and again, if you must.

Determination
& I
You
WE have sooooooo got this.

Oh Yes, We Do.

:)

I Am My Feelings

One Us

Looks like my faithful shovel and I will be moving snow again today.

YaY

Because bundled up shoveling = music
& music = Barry Manilow

ahhhhh

& the first tune I will play is "One Voice'
I LOVE that song
& although I will be very happy to hear Barry sing it, his words are already here because that wonderfully unifying tune hunkers in my brain every single time those flakes come tumbling down.

As Mr. Manilow croons,
"... & when you look around you'll find there's more than one voice ..."
I think about a snowflake.

A tiny, insignificant, unique snowflake.
Making it's long trek down from a cloud up above.
By itself, it's not all that noticeable or powerful.
But, combined with all those other individual snowflakes ...?
Wooooo weeee
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
That little guy is pretty darn awesome.

It's a beautiful lesson in working together, courtesy of Mother Nature
and Barry Manilow.
One snowflake.
One Voice.

Pretty profound stuff for a Monday morning but, as you're enjoying this Martin Luther King Day, feel free to think about it anyway.

One. Us.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Labeled

Feels like a good day for a rerun.

Enjoy !

--------------------

Long before Walgreens became the giant it is today, it was a corner store
& when it first came to my town, we would shop there for miscellaneous this and that's.
Once in awhile, we'd purchase food at Walgreens but, not very often.
Food was bought at the grocery store.
This and that's were bought at Walgreens.

At least it worked that way in my head

& I have absolutely no idea why but, whenever I was informed that a can of black olives was purchased at Walgreens, it would completely Gross. Me. Out.
I couldn't eat them.
Nope.
I'd shut down.
Those olives would be the same, exact, popular name brand as the grocery store olives but, if I heard a Walgreens connection ... ?
ICK.

It didn't take my parents long to just stop telling me the olives were purchased at Walgreens
&  poof !
Life was good again.

Certain siblings of mine felt the same way about pickles.
They loved Vlasic Pickles # 4
The folks, thinking of all the mouths they had to feed, preferred purchasing an off brand but, on occasion, would  buy Vlasic # 4, to keep the peace
& I can't say that I blame them.
Pretty sure they didn't want a recurrence of the black olive drama.

One day, Mom and Dad decided to place the off brand pickles in a Vlasic # 4 pickle jar, just to see if anyone would notice.
They dubbed it the 'Great Pickle Caper'
& it worked.
For weeks.
Those sleuthing parents of mine probably could have kept the pickle scam going forever but, decided to fess up instead
& when they did ?
Ewwwwww !!

Welcome back, Vlasic Pickle # 4.

My older brother dislikes Heineken Beer
& he makes no secret about it.
He has vocalized his distaste many, many times.
"I HATE HEINEKEN !!"
Very Loud.
Very Clear.
We get his point.

One day, some devious someone decided to fill a glass with beer and hand it to Big Brother
& yes, it was a Heineken.
But, since there was no bottle and no name the thirsty man just saw a nice, cold brew.
He very much enjoyed it.
He asked for another.

Now, besides showing the finickiness and trickiness of certain people I know, there is a reason behind today's tales.

Labels.

Yep.
Labels.

Change my stories to three people named Olive, Pickles and Mr H
& now, I feel bad because my family and I become snobby meanies.
We labeled
& that changed everything.

Labels.

Powerful.
Attitude adjusting.
Opinionated.
Often helpful.
Sometimes hurtful.
Mind persuading, labels.

Seems they know a bit about finickiness and trickiness too.

:)

I Am My Feelings

But Words

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

We've all heard it, we've all said it at some point in life.
As a sibling to a sibling.
As a nicey to a meanie.
As a comeback to a bully.

Sticks and stones.

I was curious as to where and how this phrase began
& so,
I googled
& did you know this adage, although reworded a time or two, has been around since 1830 ?
Alexander William Kinglake is credited with it's origin.
Yep.
Google also informs ...

 The rhyme persuades the child victim of name-calling to ignore the taunt, to refrain from physical retaliation, and to remain calm and good-living.

To remain calm and good-living.
I like that.
 
For although it seems hatefulness has been surrounding us for eons,
I know of an emotion that has been here longer
& I am privy to a higher place that is so much better.
Stronger is what I become.
Confident and secure and certain is who I am.

Love.

My infinite protector.
My unbreakable force field.
My conqueror of all.

Love.

With it's incredible simplicity and genuineness and willing and wonderful, it opens
& heals
& even feels a slice of compassion for those unfortunate carriers of stick and stones as they can't seem to realize their destiny is failure.
All the time.
Every time.

Yes, Love.
We believers of you shall remain calm and in good-living
& when that pesky insect of ugliness shows itself again and yet again ?
No worries.
Those words may sometimes hurt, often shock and definitely appall
but they will never, EVER break us.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Love

Read By Ken Guidotti

I can hear them but, they can't see me.
They are asking “Where is Love? Has anybody seen Love?”

I am Love

I'm hiding.

And soon ...
I will be running away.

I just have to pack a few things and then I. Am. Leaving.

My family  can look and look but they will never find me.

Humph.

 

They are in the kitchen now and I can hear them wondering 'Where could Love be?”

I want to say “I'm right here!”

But, my sister hurt my feelings.

My brother made me sad.

And that is why, I am going to run away.
Soon.

 

Wait. What??

They are talking about me.

Hmmmm.
I think I'll move a little bit closer so I can hear better.

 

“I want Love to come back now! 

Now! Now! Now!”

That's my sister. 

She's kind of bossy.

“Love is quiet. So quiet. 

Sometimes I forget Love is even here.

But, Love is trusting and sincere
& Love always understands. 

oooooooo
Love has to come back. I have to have her near me!”

 

Well.
Gosh.

That makes me feel better.

Maybe I'll stay and listen for just a little while longer.

Shhhhhh. Is that my brother?

He is whispering.

He sounds sad.

 

“I need Love to come back.

Love is happy. So happy.

I don't know what I would do without Love.

She is wise. She is kind. And she is fun.

I need Love to be around me. I just do.”

 

Ummm.
WoW.

My brother has never said anything like that before.

Maybe my family really does care.

 

“I love Love.”

It's my Mom.

“Love is strong. So strong.

And Love is beautiful.

Love finds good in everything.

She builds us up. She makes US strong.

We can accomplish anything with Love.

Oh Love ....

Please come back.”

 

Everyone was so excited when I said “I'm here! I'm here ! I never left!”

They gave me hugs and kisses and high fives!

They told me I was important and special.

Very special.

I promised I would never, ever leave them and I never, ever will.

I am here and I will be here for always and forever.

I am Love.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Cry Me A River

It's been a long while since I've sat down with a box of tissues and a good ol tear-jerking movie.
A very, very long while.
Too long, actually.

Every so often, whether I feel the need to or not, I should.
I should  plop my bottom down in my cozy recliner and bawl my eyeballs out via a love story.
Because a good cry cleanses the soul.
It truly does.
It purifies, energizes and invigorates too.
Oh. Yes. It. Do.

So as crazy as this may sound, I think I will have myself a Cry Fest this weekend.
Just me and my Top 5 uncontrollable sobbing movies

& WHAT, pray tell, are those movies ?
Well .. ! ...
Funny you should ask.

1.  Somewhere In Time

Hands down the BEST love story ever, Ever, EVER & if you have never experienced it, you must.
You MUST ! !
Christopher Reeve.
Jane Seymour.
Time travel
& the MUSIC
There is no better soundtrack. Period.
'Somewhere in Time' is absolutely incomparable.
ohmygosh.
YOU MUST.

waaaaaaa

2.  Brian's Song

This movie tells of the friendship between Chicago Bears Brian Piccolo and Gale Sayers.
What a beautiful story !
But, it has to be the original, with James Caan and Billy Dee Williams, not the remake.
I can quote the exact lines in that wonderful heart-wrencher that will turn on my waterworks every single time.
My personal favorite ?
"I love Brian Piccolo ..."
& pipe in the Brian's Song theme song ...?!?

boooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooo 


3.  The Elephant Man

"I am not an animal. I am a human being."
Need I say more ?!?

Blubber. City.
for sure

4.  Carousel

Oh Billy Bigelow ! why'd you have to rob that place and die ????
Why ?
Why ?
Whyyyyyyyyyy ?!?
Shirley Jones loved you so much and was pregnant with your daughter !!!
ooooooooooo
& the songs "If I Loved You" and "You'll Never Walk Alone" ??

can someone hand me a hankie please ??
please ?

thanks.

& finally

5.  Wuthering Heights

 
I remember watching this movie way, way back in the day.
Mom insisted.
Sisters and I obliged.
I can still hear our chorus of muffled wails when Catherine hauntingly called 'Heathcliff ...Heath....cliff ..."
oooooooooo
& Heathcliff's perfectly worded vow ...
 "If he loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn't love you as much as I do in a single day".

ooooooooh Heathcliff ooooooooh Catherine

Oh my.
How I do love love stories.

So yep.
I believe I am going to go for it.
I must.
It's been much too long since I've let those tears loose.
So, if you happen to wonder where I be ?

sniffle sniffle
snort snort
dab dab

oooooooo 
This is going to be GREAT !

:)

I Am My Feelings

Solivagant

I stumbled across a 'new to me' word yesterday and it's quickly becoming a favorite.

solivagant

& among it's definitions
 'solitary'
and
'wandering alone' immediately jumped out to greet me
& I thought,
Hey Universe ! How perfect is THAT ??!?
On the very day I made it back to my beloved walking trail, I discovered a pleasant way to describe exactly how I feel.

solivagant

& nothing personal people but, the peace and remoteness of an empty park on a bundled up, brisk day is absolutely heavenly.

The silence.
The still.
The patience and calm and waiting.

WoW

It is truly breathtaking, wonderfully spiritual
& shhh

shhhhhh

I will recognize myself in that perfect hush.
All the time, every time.

Oh, Winter.
Oh, Solivagant.
This solitary wanderer is so very happy we've found what we've found.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Finding Mine

It began many, many moons ago
& I really can't tell you why.
I guess I was lost somewhere in the glee.
So, yes !!
I felt the need to share.
Hey, why not ?
It's your birthday !
& you know what ??
I'm going to hand you some joy.

You see, I'm pretty darn certain I was a singer in another lifetime
& pardon me if you've heard this before but, it's true.
I know it's true
& I don't just mean singer,
I mean true blue, you've never, ever heard a such a voice.
I am absolutely positive people would come from miles and miles to be in the midst of my lovely melodies.

ahhhhh,
it 'twas quite the wonderful experience, if I dare say so myself.

But, the keyword here is ANOTHER
& although this go-round brings it's own quirky, miscellaneous talents, carrying a tune is definitely not one of them.

rats.

Which brings me back to my Happy Birthday birthday songs.
All I ask is that the receiver of my solo not answer their phone as I prefer to leave a voicemail
& to those of you who have experienced my lyrical, la la laaaaaas ?
You gotta admit, that long note at the end gets better and better every year !

right ?
am I right ??!?? 

Anyways.
Somewhere down this road, I have often felt as if I am missing something.

Something.

Some. Thing.
But what ?

WHAT ????

"Your pitch.", he said.

Excuse me ?

"Your pitch. You just need to find your pitch."

& the heavens opened up with a glorious THAT'S IT !!
& this is the moment I decided I must place my Happy Birthday birthday songs on pause.
Yes.
I am going on hiatus.
I am temporarily closed for remodeling.
Because I need to find my pitch.
My awesome, albeit elusive PITCH

& when I do ?
oooooo weeeeee.

Happy Birthday To YOU

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

:)

I Am My Feelings

Possible

Yep.
Uh huh.
I know I have said this a million times but, today just seems like a real good day to say it again
& again
& again.

I LOVE POSSIBLE.

Oh Yes I Do.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I so do
& what I love even more than the possibility of possible is when possible suddenly, casually appears.

! Ta Da !

When 'it will never, ever happen', happens.
When hopes are realized.
When prayers are answered.
When dreams really do come true.

Yes.
It's possible.
It is very, VERY possible

&
I love it too when the only one who believes in possible is YOU.
When you get up every single day and do what you do because you know.
You KNOW.

You never give up.
You keep on keepin on.
You practice, make perfect.
You continuously believe
&
Just. Like. That.

YaY.

I am Possible.

I AM Here.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Mashed Potatoes

Hungry Heart

Actual Words: 
Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack

What I thought Bruce Springsteen said:
Got a wife and kids and a bad mortgage


Crocodile Rock

Actual Words:
Oh Lawdy mama those Friday nights

What I thought Elton John said:
I'm all alone on Friday nights


Smells Like Teen Spirit

Actual Words:
Here we are now, entertain us

What I thought Nirvana said:
Here we are now, mashed potatoes


Party Up 

Actual words:
Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here, up in here

What I thought DMX said:
Y'all gonna make me lose my mind pumping gas, pumping gas


The Way We Were

Actual Words:
Memories light the corners of my mind

What I thought Barbra Streisand said:
Memories like the corners of my mind


Livin' Lovin' Maid

Actual Words:
Livin', lovin', she's just a woman

What I thought Led Zeppelin said:
Live it. Love it. It's in the water.


Everybody's Talkin

Actual Words:
Going where the weather suits my clothes

What I thought Harry Nilsson said:
Going where the weather suits my soul


Scar Tissue

Actual Words:
With the bird I'll share this lonely view

What I thought the Red Hot Chili Peppers said:
The perfect shade is a lonely blue


What a Wonderful World

Actual Words:
The dark sacred night

What I thought Louie Armstrong said:
The dogs say good night


Sometimes I worry about my brain.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Continued C'mons

A Challenge.
A New Year, New Me, we can sooooo do this together Challenge.

YaY

Starting on January 2, 2017 our lives CAN change !! we declared.

Five days per week.
30 pushups
100 sit-ups
To be completed in intervals or at once, it's up to the participant
&
ok
Crunches, leg lifts or squats can be substituted for sit-ups
& yes, you can mix it up however you choose.
Yep.
"wall' pushups are perfectly legit.

hmmmm.

We all sat there and pondered.

hmmmm.

"It will be a piece of CAKE !", I exclaimed.
Easy as can beeeeesy.

Five days out of a seven day week ?
Surely, we can handle that !
& intervals ?
There's 24 hours in a day, my peeps !!
C'MON !!

& so, it began.
If you want in, come on in we decided.
If not, that's entirely up to you and your biz
& what started with the privy who happened to be in my house that night has expanded across the states to the whole family.

The Challenge is ON.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Uh huh.

The Challenge was ON

& I gotta tell you,
it was not the piece of cake that I so eagerly, one year ago cheered.
Nope.
But, it wasn't horrible, either
& as I sit here counting my ever so diligent, orange highlighter marks for the times I followed through

..... drum roll, please .....

I come up 56 days short of my goal.
rats
& I'm thinking, REALLY ???!!?? but, but, HOW ??!!? WHEN ??? WHY ??

It's called Life, Silly
&
Life + Excuses almost always = Baaaaaaa !!

But, hey.
There's good news here.
You see, I've formed a habit.
I've planted a pestering seed.
I've created a simple routine that's become a portion of my just about every morning.

So, YaY.

YaY

& while I'm at it ...

! ! ! ! !

Here's to 2018
and to it's many, shiny, sparkly promises
and resolutions
and challenges
and I Can Do-s !!

To the falling downs
and picking ups
and starting overs
and over
and over.

Cheers to You,
To Us.
To Trying

& don't you ever, EVER stop trying.

C'mon.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Puzzle Piece

Read by Ken Guidotti


I've found a tiny piece of me
That was lost so long ago
A forgotten, little puzzle piece
And yet, I've missed it so

This puzzle piece found deep within
Locked away for all those years
Has resurfaced, oh so suddenly
Gone too, are all my fears

You are the little puzzle piece
That has gently set me free
Complete and happy
Forever now
My puzzle piece and me

It all made sense when you appeared
I found me when I found you
Like dominoes falling into place
You have become my clue

You are the little puzzle piece
That has gently set me free
Complete and happy
Forever now
My puzzle piece and me

And so, we'll travel through this life
Connected and so content
You've erased the questions surrounding me
The answer, I was sent  

You are the little puzzle piece
That has gently set me free
Complete and happy
Forever now
My puzzle piece and me

:)

 

New

Here we sit on Day 2 of this newbie called 2018
& hmmmm

After the busyness
and parties
and well wishes
and cookies
and go
and do
and every little everything that attaches itself to the holidays,
you feel any different ?

I can tell you one thing,
I'm kinda sorta, flat out exhausted.
It's as if knowing I could hit those brakes and stop, just STOP ! has turned this body of mine into a dawdling sloth.
It's true.
Slow and steady never felt so good

& my sympathies to those who must leave their coziness and make that trek back into the work force.
I'm sorry.
I truly am
& seriously.
Don't you wish you could have another day or three just to catch up on all the sleep you've missed ?

Oh, Energy.
Where have you gone ?

& this.
This eh and boo and ugh.
This waaaa and zzzzzzz and 'but I don't wanna' !!
This is where I must dig down deep and remember the NEW.
Happy New.

Happy New Year.
Happy New Day.
Happy New Each and Every Wonderful Moment I am given on this incredible journey of Life.

er
uh
I know.
You probably want to smack me silly right about now
& no worries.
I get it.
I understand.
I'm just trying to add a little motivation,
a bit of inspiration,
a pinch of enthusiasm,
a ... a ... a ...

awwww geez.
Who am I kidding ?
My invigorating words and I shall return tomorrow
&
I need coffee.
STAT.

:)

I Am My Feelings