Background Music

Engelbert Humperdinck.

Yep.

He was the background music to my growing up years.
My mom loved him.
A lot.
I sometimes wonder, if Engelbert really did come a calling as Mom so often wished would she, could she ?

Uh.
Never mind.
She would.
She could.

We had a stereo in the living room
& Engelbert's albums were on most of the time.
He was there during homework and on lazy Saturdays
& his tunes were constant as we washed and dried every supper dish.
Dancing and singing to Engelbert became quite routine in our happy, little home.

Then one lovely day I heard 'Mandy' and Barry Manilow entered my life.
By that time I had my own stereo, so I played his albums continuously
& yes.
It did drive my brothers crazy.

Oh Barry.
How I love him.
I always will.
So it is really no surprise when I say Mr Manilow was the background music in my children's lives.
Those lucky kids.
My offspring will never, ever admit it but, I KNOW they know just about every Barry song.
Word for every wonderful Word.

It's true

& now, since I am known as Gramma Jacki, I do believe it's time to pass that torch.
But, who ?
Who will be next ???
Who will carry on this magnificently melodious tradition ?
hmmmmmm.

I suppose it really doesn't matter.
Fun and memories.
That's what matters
& that's what makes those crooners and their croons so darn special.

Engelbert
&
Barry

ahhhhhh,
The memories ....

Ohhhhhh,
The fun ....

:)

I Am My Feelings

Perfectly Perfect

I've probably made it pretty darn obvious that I love the bright side.
I search for good in every single situation that comes rolling my way.
Stay positive, baby.
Positive.

But today, I am treading into Negative Nellie Land.
This doesn't happen very often so hold onto your hats my peeps, cause ...
oh boy.
Here
I
goooooo ....

I am not a fan of Holiday Year in Review letters.
In fact, I dislike them immensely
& when I receive them, I often roll my eyes and moan.

It's true.
I do.

I'm talking the 'everything is always over the top perfectly perfect perfect' letters.
The family is gorgeous, the vacations fantastic, the second house sensational, the new car phenomenal
& so on & so on & so on.

Yeah.
Those letters.

My problem with this type of holiday greeting ?

It is IMPOSSIBLE for everything to always be so flawless.
It's not feasible. It's inconceivable.
Dare I say, it is preposterous ?
It goes against the law of averages is what it does.
A bad year has to occur sooner or later.
It just must.

For example, 2014 was a very good year around here.
Good stuff happened.
2015 ?
Although it's had it's share of beautiful moments, it will not be running for Best Year Ever.

Uhhhh , sorry 2015.
You just won't.

The good news though, is a good year or two always offsets a dud !
It's called Life
& that's just how it works.
Good thrown in with a few not so goods.
It all evens out in the end.

Please forgive me for doubting your yearly wonderful letter friend, but things just can't continually be so absolutely unblemished.
Not every single year.
Nope.
It's the law of averages, my buddy.
The. Law. Of. Averages.

& it's ok to admit to a not so good year.
Go ahead.
Throw a few negatives in with all those positives.
I promise, I'll still love you.
Promise.

Yep.
Life.
Sometimes it can be quite a stinker.
I encourage you to enjoy it, treasure it and pleasey please please, Infinitely Perfect Letter Writer
Just ONCE ...
Tell me alllllll about that dud.

:)


I Am My Feelings

Truly

I was born and raised by very proud and loyal Catholic parents.
My family was in church every single Sunday
& my siblings and I spent many hours in our Catholic elementary and middle school.
Catholic education was a very important part of my youth
& I have many fond memories of Our Lady of Grace.
Go Knights !

I sure don't know why but, for some reason my 8th Grade Graduation keeps popping into my head these days.
Not the whole day, just one certain part.
I remember walking into church and being greeted by Sister Humberta.
She was a gentle lady, a very loving person and teacher.

Sister Humberta smiled, hugged and wished me well
& she asked what plans I had for my future.
I don't remember what I said.
The shy, adolescent me stammered something totally irrational, I'm sure.
But, I do recall Sister Humberta saying she always thought I would become a nun.

Now, she might have used that line on every girl who walked into church that day.
Who knows ?
But, those words have been stuck in my brain for years.

I walked out of O.L.G.'s doors that day and went on with my life
& never even considered becoming a nun.
Me ? ? ?
That's just weird.

Lately though, I've been thinking about 'what ifs and would I's'.
What if I had taken Sister Humberta's cue and had become a nun ?
Would I have enjoyed that life ?
Would I have been a good nun ?
Would I still be ?
& most importantly, would I have wholeheartedly walked the religious life walk ?

Maybe it's because the older I am getting the more spiritual I am becoming but, the wiser me hopes I would have been the very best of the best.
Because this me feels if I had felt the 'call' ...
I mean really, truly felt the 'call' ...
I would have tried to be the happiest, sun-shiniest, little nun the world had ever seen.

Think about all of the spiritual people in your life.
Those who have Reverend, Father, Preacher, Sister, etc., attached to their names
& those who don't.

The ones who TRULY feel the love in their hearts and are TRULY walking the walk are the jolliest people on this entire planet.
These special beings are singing the joy of everything, every single day.
Continually dancing the dance of happy.
No need to wonder because it's there.
Right there.
You can feel the love that surrounds a truly spiritual person.
& that love is continually shared because it's so very easy and so completely natural.

Sure makes me wonder.
About me.
About people I know
&
About humans.

I would hope that, had I gone on to become Sister Jacqueline, I would have talked the talk and unquestionably, wonderfully, joyfully walked the walk
& that I'd still be sharing that love.

I sure hope the Jacki I turned out to be has done the same.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Don't Stop

I am sitting in an airport, waiting to head home after a PERFECT family weekend.

Weddings.

Wooooo weeeeee.

I LOVE THEM.

I've been having so much fun with a bundle of people I adore that I feel completely separated from the heartache and horror that is surrounding us, yet again

& now, as I sit watching the airport tv, I have been horribly awakened to what has happened in our world.

Words seem absolutely meaningless today

& I know this is going to sound incredibly naive but, I feel I must say it anyways.

Please, please, PLEASE don't stop believing.
In good.

In love.

In joy and hope.

They are there.

Somewhere in all of this hate filled ugliness they remain and will never, ever, ever leave

& as hard as that is to believe on days like today, remember good always, always, always defeats evil.

ALWAYS.

I may be banging my head against the wall and shouting from the rooftops to nobody but, I plan to keep on shouting.

Believe.
In us.

In people.
Believe in humankind.

Because the good in this world outnumbers the bad all the time, every time
& love does and always, forever WILL conquer all.

:)

I Am My Feelings 

Take the Bus Home

I don't know about everybody else but, I have songs in my head all the time.
All day.
Every single day.
It's definitely a 24 / 7 kind of thing.

I'm assuming this is normal
& if this is something I should be concerned about, I am long past the due date.
oops.

At least I know Younger Brother has the music in him too.
He and I text each other lyrics throughout each ditty filled day.
He receives whatever tune happens to be in my brain
& I receive whatever is strumming through my sibling's brain.
Back and singingly, jingly forth.
YaY.

When my son was a child, bath time always included Bobby Darin's wonderful  'Splish Splash' song.
'Splish Splash I was taking a bath..!....'
Son and I sang that melody so much that at 4 years old he jumped onstage and karaoked it in a local, summertime beer tent
& yep
The crowd went wild.

My children's names were each given a lovely, little name song.
First. Middle. Last.
Why ?
Because !
&
when they were in elementary school we had songs for just about every daily activity.
The 'Bus Song' and 'Friday Song' were most definitely the favs.

Take the bus home.
Take the bus home.
Take the bussssssss home.

It's Friday
It's Friday
It's Friday Friday Friday...

Classics, I tell you.
Classics.

On the days those darling children of mine pushed me to the edge and were thisclose to being planted on our infamous 'Bad Chair'...?
Yes.
There's a song for that too.

I. Love. Songs.
& I love singing.
Loooooove  !!!!!
Oh & btw ...
I am pretty darn positive I was Adele in another lifetime.
Oh, yes.
Yes, I Was.
Weeeeeee.

I'm so hoping all people go through life with musical notes floating happily around in their head.
It really is quite enjoyable.
And if this is not typical ?

shhhhhhhhhh.

I don't ever, ever want to know.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


:)

I Am My Feelings

The Can Man

His name is Frank.
He walked into my life ten, maybe fifteen years ago
& I've seen him just about every week since that very first Tuesday.
But until yesterday, I never realized just how much I treasure him.

I call him the Can Man.
He is the collector of my used pop and beer containers.
Frank takes them to the Recycle Center where they pay by the pound.
My house is just one of the stops along his route.
Seems there are quite a few of us 'regulars' that will set our cans aside for Frank.
A separate bag, just for him.

Frank first noticed my recycle bin back in the day of much pop and beer consumption.
The kids still lived at home with their many friends always over
& the adults sure loved those cold ones.
We were forever filling and refilling our 'beer fridge' with whatever was on sale that week.
The empties ended up in our very overloaded recycle bin
& that's when Frank appeared.
Husband took the garbage out one Monday evening and Frank asked if we would mind.
We didn't
& we've been saving those cans ever since.

One day, I happened to be outside when Frank came by to collect
& we talked.
We are still talking.
That Frank is a chatty one ! but, I suppose he can say the same about me.
He tells me about his family.
I tell him about mine
& he loves the Chicago Bears.
Needless to say, we talk Bears.
A lot.
Frank is not at all patient with our favorite NFL team.
I anticipate and love his seasonal rants.

I worry about Frank though.
He has a good thirty years on me and probably should retire the cans.
But he insists as long as he is able, he will continue.
I can tell Frank has aches and pains but, he never complains.
He just smiles and talks and collects those cans.

About this time every year Frank heads down to the land of sunshine and fluffy clouds.
He loves those winters of warmth
& every year before he leaves, he brings by a token of thanks.
Thanks for saving the cans.

Yesterday was that day.
Our Thank You,  BIG HUG, See You in the Spring Day.
As he got into his truck and was driving away Frank reminded me that as we keep getting older, those cans get fewer
& he's right.
What used to be six, seven, even eight bags saved through Winter has now become one.
'No worries' he said.
He'll be back in the Spring to check, just in case we have more.

I reminded Frank that my Spring is not officially Spring until I see his sweet face
& I will keep saving cans as long as he keeps coming back.
'Deal' he promised.

I so hope I'm saving those empty cans forever.

:)

I Am My Feelings

Do You Mind ...?

I've often consider myself a fairly friendly airline traveler.
I figure, if a chatty stranger wants to plop down in the seat next to me and tell me their life story, I'll happily listen because I love Niceys.
But lately, it seems the more I travel the more introverted I am becoming
& I'd rather just stare at the clouds and get lost in my music.

As Husband and I made our way home last week, that's exactly what I was thinking.
shhhhh.
shhhhhhhhhhhh.
No talking please.

But before I grabbed the earphones, I eavesdropped
& I was very pleasantly surprised.
At least three of the continuing conversations I could decipher started with a "Do you mind if I sit here?"
Complete strangers.
Meeting, talking, acting neighborly.

'How wonderful !' I thought, as I put my music in my ears.
Now, HUSH.

ahhhhhhh.

Husband and I had a connecting flight with about an hour to dillydally in between.
After maneuvering our way to the bathrooms and grabbing a cup of coffee, we settled in to wait.
A man and woman who had been on our previous plane were hunkered down patiently pausing too.
I smiled at them as they nodded their acknowledgement
& then ...
an awesome conversation between complete strangers began.

"Do you like pizza?" he asked
& of course, we responded with a resounding 'Yes!'

YuM.

"The pizza here is really good ..."
& ....
we talked
and talked
and talked some more.

Turns out, he once lived in the very town Husband and I call home.
He raised his family about a half mile away from my childhood house.
His children went to the same high school, graduated around the same years, played the same sports.
He knew just about every name we threw his way
& had visited every store and restaurant we reminisced.
He and the Mrs. haven't lived in our area for years and would never, ever move back
but they love their every once in awhile visit with family and friends in our mutual hometown.

What a wonderful walk down Memory Lane.

As we boarded the connecting plane, I think we all wished we could continue our conversation but, our seats weren't close so our paths were separated.
An hour or so later though, as Husband and I were lingering in baggage claim, a new but familiar voice wondered if we wanted to tip a few beers at the local Legion Hall
& as we laughed and parted ways, I thought ... 'it all started with a curious little question'.

'Do you like pizza?'
'Do you mind if I sit here?'
Friendlies taking a chance that the person they are asking is a friendly too.

From now on, I think I'll leave those earphones in my suitcase.

:)

I Am My Feelings