Judging A Book

He's been long gone.
We lost him the year the basement flooded.
He had to be tossed out, like so many of our other toys.

I don't recall loving him but, it sounds like I did, very much
& the only reason I know he existed is because Mom told me so.
Seems she loved him too.

She said he looked just like me, this teddy bear with it's very sad face
& why I had such a sorrowful mug I do not know but, every picture from my past shows me Mom was right.

One would think I had a miserable childhood.
One would be so wrong.

Enter adulthood.
It's called Rosacea.
It's a skin condition I've been doctoring for years
& it's a thing of mine that I figured I would deal with forever.
I was wrong.

YaY.

I have found a skin care regimen that works 
& I now have my redness under control.
I gotta tell you though, this rosacea has taken it's toll.
On my face
& my mind.
It made a shy person self conscious, an introvert all the more introverted
But, after many years and quite a few dozen tries, I am happy to report I have busted out
& I can honestly say, rosacea and all, I have found that ever elusive confidence.

Finally.

When I take my walks, I get lost in a zone.
Music in my ears, trees surrounding me.
I'm sometimes so in tune with my own self that I don't realize someone is crossing my path until they are right THERE.
I'll look up, smile, then get back to the business of me.
Once, twice, maybe more I've been so in a trance that I've not noticed a smiling person until it's too late.
They smile, I unintentionally ignore
& then I feel bad.
Truth be told, my not smiling face looks rather perturbed, stern, mad
& I sometimes wonder if I could be considered a 'meanie' by a casual observer because I look so, well ..... MEAN.
yikes.

So, what's my point ?

Don't judge a book by it's cover.
Until we choose to know each other, you don't know my story and I don't know yours.
I may appear sad.
I may feel insecure.
I may be lost in my own world and look like the grumpiest person ever.

I'm not.

There are so many layers to each and every single one of us.
How can we judge ?
How can we know ? unless we know.

Take the time to wonder.
To smile.
To care.
To try.

There are a million faces out there.
A multitude of uniquely wonderful stories.
Instead of judging that book by it's cover, maybe we could all take a little time to read it instead.

:)

I Am My Feelings