Push !

I've been donating plasma for a few months now.
What started out as a vow to regularly donate blood has ventured into regularly donating plasma.
I am loving this once a month gig.

I go.
They hook me up to a fancy device.
The device takes out my yellow stuff (plasma) and returns my red stuff.
I eat cookies and orange juice.
I go home.
It's very easy & it only takes an hour or so.

The donating place is happy.
I'm happy.
All is right with the world.
YaY.

Until recently ...
They will never admit it but, I think I'm making the plasma ladies squirm.

The plasma ladies tell me that I have very, very tiny veins.
In fact, one gal said I had no veins at all.
Yep.
I am a veinless plasma donator.

The ladies are having a difficult time with me these days.
Apparently, a juicy vein is hard to find.
But, they do find one.
They always find one.
The plasma crew are very friendly, patient professionals.

After a good vein is found, the ladies rev up the plasma machine.
It's very cool.
Whoever created this device has a lot of brain power.

So there I am.
All hooked up and everything is looking good.
I'm oh ! so ready to hand over my plasma and they are oh ! so ready to receive my plasma
...... and .......
.......and .......
The device says stop.
For whatever reason lately, that device ALWAYS tells the ladies to stop.

STOP ! RIGHT ! NOW !!

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

STOP.
EVERYTHING.

I have become the veinless beeper.

The plasma lady in charge will walk over and ever so calmly and nicely de-beep the machine.
Last time she had to de-beep multiple times.
oops.
She usually asks if I am hydrated.
Or, as she puts it, have I 'pushed fluids' ?
Seems it is very important to be very hydrated especially when donating plasma.

I tell her I am !
I do !
I hydrate.
I push fluids.
Honest.
I do.

I don't think the plasma ladies believe me.
I'm a beeper, ya know.

So.
I am now on a mission.
A Hydrating Mission.

I am hydrating like no one has ever hydrated before.
I am a hydrating machine.
I'm not only pushing fluids, I'm pulling them too.

Fluids fluids and more fluids .... ! ...

ugh.

& just between you and me ...?
I'm beginning to despise fluids.

I want to stop so bad....!
I want my 'not hydrating as much as I should' days back.
I can't take another drop.
I can't.

But, I won't stop.
I will continue my mission.
I must carry on.

My goal is to walk into the donating center with the biggest, juiciest veins those ladies have ever seen.
They will be so pleasantly pleased ...!

No longer will I be known as the beeping no vein girl.
I will be the Ultimate Hydrator.
The Fab Fluid Pusher.
Big Juicy Vein Jacki.

oy
I hope.

Unless I bobble away in the process....

:)