Eddie

Certain people have helped shape my life.
Certain people were a part of making me who I am today.
What I believe, how I feel about things.
I became Me because of certain people.

Eddie was one of my certain people.

Eddie walked into my life as my uncle's friend. 
He was part of my childhood to adulthood.
My growing up years and beyond.
I don't really remember life before Eddie.
He was always there.
He was family.

Eddie died about 8 1/2 years ago.
He left us around Christmas.
I know this because a few short months later, Mom left us around Easter.
I called Uncle when Eddie died.
Uncle called me when Mom died
& we cried, laughed and tearfully joked that these departures were 'ruining' our holidays.

Right before he left, I had this nagging feeling that I should tell Eddie exactly how I felt about him.
I know he knew I loved him but, I don't think he realized just how important he was to me.
A phone call.
A greeting card.
A something.
I should send or tell Eddie something.

But, I didn't.
Life got in my way and I said nothing.
To this day, I sure wish I would have said that something.

I've been thinking about Eddie a lot lately.
I figure Eddie must be reminiscing too because he is hunkered down in my head.
I can feel his presence around me.

So listen up, Eddie.
I want you to know what I should have told you years ago.
From you, I learned to follow what I want to do.
To become what I need to become.
To like myself, as I am
& yes Eddie, I now know that when my inner voice tells me, NAGS me to do something,
to say SOMETHING ...
I will do it.
I will say it.
Now.
Today.

Thanks for all you were and all you did my Eddie friend.

Oh and btw ...
Thank You, Uncle.

You are most certainly my 'certain people' too.

:)

I Am My Feelings